These words have unfortunately become far too common in my life....
So today was the big testing date. I really have known in my heart since Monday that I wasn't pregnant. So I had already grieved a bit. But still...seeing those words and then having to hear the nurse say, "I'm sorry Lindsey. Your test was negative." is just hard to deal with. I just wanted to cry. So that's what I did while driving down I65. I barely held it in until I could get off of the phone. For some reason I want to act like I am so OK with it to the nurse. I don't know why. She knows that I am upset.
I feel like God has really blessed me with being able to find out the results of the cycle on this date. We are leaving for San Juan tomorrow to go on a cruise and I feel like it will just be a relaxing, carefree vacation. I won't have to wonder if I am pregnant and be consumed with that the whole time. I can just forget about it and have fun!
The song that is playing right now on the blog is a song I turned on today(not really thinking about what it was about, just that I hadn't listened to it for awhile) and God just spoke to me and I cried and cried and just thanked God for loving me so much and never leaving my side even though sometimes it is hard to feel Him there. I know the song is about heaven and when we get there, there will be no more pain or tears, etc. But I truly believe that on this side of heaven there will be a day of no more tears for all of us on this road of Infertility. God will eventually bring us to the place where He wants us and I know there will be peace there...wherever that might be. Listen to this song and the words. You can start it over if you haven't been paying attention to it:).
Thanks for all of the prayers and comments! I love you all! I won't be on here for a little over a week because I will be on my cruise, but I will "see" you all when I get back!
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28