We have been preparing for our IVF for January for the last few months and it was starting to get closer and closer. People were asking me about it and I was noticing that I was feeling sort of indifferent about it. I was like, "God why do I feel this way? I feel like I should be getting excited." But I just kept having this feeling of nothing really. Not excitement. Not anything. I kept thinking well maybe I am just scared....scared of more disappointment. So I just went on and thought I will get more excited as it gets a little closer.
Then all of this stuff started happening. I didn't realize this "stuff" was happening until I look back now. One day I came across this blog, My Heart's Cry. I started reading it and it was an amazing couples journey through infertility and their eventual road to adoption(I read the whole thing...3.5 hours worth;)). I didn't know it then but that is one of the first things God used to show me where He was going to be taking us soon.
Our good friends just adopted a little girl and they were over a couple weeks ago. My friend, Betsy, said to me, "if you guys ever decide you want to adopt, you should use the agency we used to do our homestudy. We really liked them and they are one of the most affordable in Indy." That night when they left I got on the website and I was thinking, "why am I on here? We are getting ready to do IVF. Oh well I think I'll just order an info packet, just for fun." That was on a Saturday night. On Tuesday I found myself excitedly anticipating that packet. I was so confused by my feelings. Little did I know that God was changing my heart at that very moment. On Tuesday the packet came and I read every last thing in that packet and when I was done, I knew God was revealing a new plan to us! We were supposed to pursue adoption instead of this upcoming IVF. I knew that Rob wasn't really on this same page yet, so I started praying that God would change Rob's heart if this was His plan for us. After lots of talking and praying, Rob told me last night that he was ready to pursue adoption! Wow things can change so much, so fast, but we are so excited!! We can't get into the first info meeting until January 9th, because the December one is full, so we still have some waiting to do before we can really start anything. But we will be moving forward with Domestic Adoption as soon as we can get started! We can't wait! We would love it if you would start praying with us for the Birthmom and our baby and God's plan for all of us!
Is she not one of the most perfect little babies you have ever seen?
This is our good friends' newest baby girl! She is just so precious and beautiful!! Her name is Eliana, it is Hebrew for "God has answered". It is the perfect name for her!!
Me getting some cuddle time in...
Do we not look like naturals??? :)
"I love you uncle Rob!;)"
Eliana and her big sister Noura!
A very good big sister! She is the sweetest little 2 1/2 year old! and she loves her aunt yindsey and unka wob! ;)
Well we are down to less than two months until our 2nd IVF. I have mixed emotions about it. I am so ready for it to get here but so scared of more disappointment. I have changed the way I pray about it. God knows my heart. He knows what I desire. He gave me this heart! So I like to talk to Him about how excited I get when I think about being a mom and just to share with Him like I would any of my close friends about my desires, dreams and fears. And I just pray for Him to prepare our hearts for His plans and to lead us in another direction if we are not on the path He has for us. I like to go in the room in our new house that we picked to be the nursery and just pray for our future child/children. It is so exciting to be in there and dream of it one day actually being an nursery and sitting in there rocking our little baby. Maybe one day very soon this dream will come true. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what God has in store for us! :)
Rob and I have been married for 5 years! He is the best husband ever and I am so thankful for him! In April of 2007 we started TTC. We went through 3 cycles of oral meds, 3 cycles of injectable meds w/IUI, 2 surgeries and 1 failed IVF(we have 3 babies in heaven). It sure was a rollercoaster ride and some days were really hard but our marriage only got stronger and we grew closer to God throughout all of it. In November of 2009 God gave us a heart for adoption and we pursued domestic open adoption! On April 27th, all of our stuff went up online and we were officially waiting!
August 2010 we felt led to pursue IVF #2! After another surgery and a bumpy round of IVF, we were expecting twins in August 2011!!! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!! Our sweet baby girls were born June 22, 2011 at 34 weeks due to preeclampsia. Natalie spent 5 weeks in the NICU for feeding problems and Sydney spent 6 weeks in the NICU with severe reflux and feeding problems. I feel like God used that experience to make me a better NICU nurse. I now have the perspective of a NICU parent! We are so thankful for these wonderful blessing God has given us! They were definitely "worth the wait"!