We have been preparing for our IVF for January for the last few months and it was starting to get closer and closer. People were asking me about it and I was noticing that I was feeling sort of indifferent about it. I was like, "God why do I feel this way? I feel like I should be getting excited." But I just kept having this feeling of nothing really. Not excitement. Not anything. I kept thinking well maybe I am just scared....scared of more disappointment. So I just went on and thought I will get more excited as it gets a little closer.
Then all of this stuff started happening. I didn't realize this "stuff" was happening until I look back now. One day I came across this blog, My Heart's Cry. I started reading it and it was an amazing couples journey through infertility and their eventual road to adoption(I read the whole thing...3.5 hours worth;)). I didn't know it then but that is one of the first things God used to show me where He was going to be taking us soon.
Our good friends just adopted a little girl and they were over a couple weeks ago. My friend, Betsy, said to me, "if you guys ever decide you want to adopt, you should use the agency we used to do our homestudy. We really liked them and they are one of the most affordable in Indy." That night when they left I got on the website and I was thinking, "why am I on here? We are getting ready to do IVF. Oh well I think I'll just order an info packet, just for fun." That was on a Saturday night. On Tuesday I found myself excitedly anticipating that packet. I was so confused by my feelings. Little did I know that God was changing my heart at that very moment. On Tuesday the packet came and I read every last thing in that packet and when I was done, I knew God was revealing a new plan to us! We were supposed to pursue adoption instead of this upcoming IVF. I knew that Rob wasn't really on this same page yet, so I started praying that God would change Rob's heart if this was His plan for us. After lots of talking and praying, Rob told me last night that he was ready to pursue adoption! Wow things can change so much, so fast, but we are so excited!! We can't get into the first info meeting until January 9th, because the December one is full, so we still have some waiting to do before we can really start anything. But we will be moving forward with Domestic Adoption as soon as we can get started! We can't wait! We would love it if you would start praying with us for the Birthmom and our baby and God's plan for all of us!