Life's Not Fair, but God is Good

I won't get the official news until tomorrow, but we aren't pregnant. I took my first test 9dp3dt(I also took one 10dp3dt and 11dp3dt). I took the most sensitive test(first response...the one that gave me a false positive back in December the morning my beta was 12). I knew then that it was over. It was pretty sad. I laid in bed and held the picture of our babies and cried and Rob came into the room and crawled in bed with me and said, "you took a test?". I said yes. We just laid there for a long time. At that moment, as sad as I was, I trusted God's plans more than I ever have. I can't explain that except that God is working in our lives through all of this pain. It doesn't take away the sadness, but it makes the hope stronger.

I thought the title of this post was fitting since this was Norm's quote(our great family friend, who passed away April 1st of this year) and tomorrow would have been her birthday(the day we get the official news). This news doesn't change who God is. Believe me I could go on and on about people that keep having babies and don't have custody of any of them or people who beat their kids to death and I DO ask God about that...why do you keep giving them babies? That's not fair! But God reminds me that He is Good and has great plans for our lives and just to trust him. So I think I'll focus on that instead. God knew the outcome of this IVF cycle long ago and no matter how shaken I am by this, He's not shaken!(one of my favorite songs right now by Phil Stacy-You're not shaken)

my fav part of that song....

"I am trembling in the darkness of my own fear
All the questions with no answers
So grip me while I’m here
And I may never know why
Oh I may not understand
But I will lift up my eyes,
and trust this is Your plan"

/Chorus/
When every little thing that I dream of being just slips away like water through my hands
And when it seems the walls from my beliefs come crashing down like they’re all made of sand
I won’t, let go of You now
because I know, oh, You’re not shaken

Thanks for all of your prayers throughout the process of IVF cycle#1. Yes I said #1...we might actually try this again, although right now I think we will just take a break. We have to for financial reasons anyway. Please continue to pray for God to show us His plans. He might have plans for us to adopt or try this again or even something else to bring us our baby.