Sunday, July 5, 2009

I am scared

I am having a rough time today. I was doing so well and feeling so positive and then last night I was jumping from blog to blog reading about different IVF stories and I just got so scared about this not working. I started reading about 3day transfers vs 5day transfers and wondering what ours will be and if our embryos will thrive for those 3-5 days or will they not make it?!? Will this work and I will get to be a mommy or will it not and we will have to wait another year to try again??...I am so scared and I know fear is not from God, so I just keep praying for peace but i just can't shake it. I want to relax and stay positive. Anyone have any advice or special verses that helped you get through this time or if you haven't gone through this just any special verses that you think might help. I need something that I can cling to, because I can tell this is going to be a long month...I just want to stay positive and trust God for His plans. Please pray for this for me! Thanks!


Dave and Elaine said...

Don't read other IVF blogs!!! When I went through my three IUIs and then IVF I could drive myself crazy reading other blogs. Finally I had to make myself STOP and instead used that time to make a scrapbook like album of verses from the Bible that I needed to put my focus on! Stay away from blogs for a while!

G & H said...

Lindsey I will so be praying for you!!!! I know fear is just that so scary! But your right it is not from God and we can do our best to rest assure that while we may notknow HE knows and HE IS PERFECT! I will of course be praying for you and your upcoming cycle! And for God to take the fear from your heart!

Alex and Jill said...

Lindsey, I remember all too well the fear that creeps in, while waiting. I want to share with you what God did to help me through our 3 years of waiting. I'll share some scripture that He used as well.

He brought me to the point that I knew I would be okay...even if it didn't work. It took quite some time to get there, but ulitimately, I knew that I didn't want a baby until God said it was matter how many months/years that meant I would have to wait. When I finally came to that place, I was able to enjoy my life as it was...just me and Alex. I knew with all of my heart that we would be parents someday...because I asked God and He told me we would be. He just didn't share the date with me. :) That's not to say that it wasn't painful when our cycles didn't work. It was. But I found comfort in the fact that God was in control and He said, "it's not your turn yet, trust me." I knew that it would be my turn eventually. I just had to wait patiently on the Lord. (Psalm 27:13-14) He wants nothing more than for you to have the desires of your heart and for you to be happy. (Jeremiah 29:11) But He wants us to find that happiness, regardless of our circumstances.

I urge you to talk with the Lord and just ask Him what you want to know. As believers, He speaks to us. A conversation with Him can give us true peace through any pain we might be experiencing. A lot of times I don't want to ask, in fear of what the answer might be. :) Also, follow your thoughts through...say it doesn't work this time...then what? Yes, it will hurt, but it just means that God has a special plan/time for you. A time that ONLY YOU will understand when that time comes. :)

I'm praying for you, girl. Your thoughts and fears are totally normal. I just urge you to give those thoughts and fears over to the one that can give you true peace. You can trust Him with anything.


Amber said...

a great verse that I always go back to time and again


The Patterson's said...

I know how hard it is to not read other blogs to want to compare your cycle, but it can be very bad emotionally. I completely agree with Jill...continue to pray for God's peace. He will answer.

And, don't worry about 3-day vs. 5-day transfer. I always wanted a 5-day transfer and another blogger told me that both of her IVF's that worked (with Dr. J) were 3-day transfers. Our last cycle was also a 3-day transfer. You can only take one day at a time (and that is hard to say coming from a planner!).

I'll be praying for you and hope this cycle is it!!

Shannon said...

I have a verse and a song lyric:

I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)

And the song is "Strong Tower" by Kutless

You are my strong tower
Shelter over me
Beautiful and mighty
Everlasting King
You are my strong tower
Fortress when I'm weak
Your name is true and holy
And Your face is all I seek

In the middle of my darkness
In the midst of all my fear
You're my refuge and my hope
When the storm of life is raging
And the thunder's all I hear
You speak softly to my soul

Hang in there, girl! I believe that the fear is just the devil trying to shake your faith- don't let him do it! Our God is a loving God and he provides for his children. Praying for you!

Mary Beth said...

The biggest advice I can give you is trust in God's plan for you...and to stay away from the internet (easier said than done, I know). Positive thoughts to you :)

twondra said...

Oh sweetie, you're definitely in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard it is to think about the "what ifs". Everything happens for a reason and everyone else's story and situation is different.

God only gives us what we can handle.

You'll get through it and we'll all be here with ya!


Trina said...

You are one strong woman. That group of med vials is quite daunting. Both of you will be in my prayers.

Trina said...

Here's one of my favorite verses:
Phillipians 4:6-7

Don't worry about anything. Instead, tell God about everything. Ask and pray. Give thanks to him. Then God's peace will watch over your hearts and your minds because you belong to Christ Jesus. God's peace can never be completely understood.

The Lane Family said...

I remember having all of those feelings your are feeling as we began to prepare for our 2nd round of IVF. Since we had chosen not to tell hardly anyone it was even harder because I had my husband and God to confide in and give me strength. As I looked at all of the drugs I would have to take and all that lay ahead of me. I prayed harder and continued to trust in God with all my heart.

Our prayers will be with you and anytime you need to vent, cry or just talk things out we are all here to listen and give support.

God Bless!!

Wendi :)

G. HUBBARD said...

rob and lindsey we all get are right and right on...TALK WITH THE LORD does work. he cares and is there 24/7 all you have to do is the initial question about your concerns.our nopen an FREE to all monthly meeting of 4-5 neighbors explore ways to talk and inpire others to domthe info packet G HUBBARD 2232 ponte vedra fl 32003 blog with no cost and no mpr budget all the hrlp is needed to spread the wor thank g. huubrd