I have one of the best Dr.'s ever! I am so thankful for him. He is not only a very intelligent man, he is so genuine and sweet! He seems to know his patients and what they need. He knows that I always have lots of questions and can be very emotional(I am sure that I'm not the only patient like this:)). The first time after he mentioned IVF to us I just had so many questions. We had met with him on a Saturday and by Monday I had lots of questions and called to make an appt. I got extra blessed because they had a cancellation that day and we got in to see him that Monday. I told him that I had read through his big IVF manual twice over the weekend and had some questions. He just gave me his little smile that he does and said "that doesn't surprise me that you read through that twice already(this manual is big!)." But anyway we got to talk more about IVF, get lots of questions answered and when we went to pay, the receptionist said, "oh he isn't charging you for today. Go out and have dinner with that money." That is just the kind of guy he is!! But anyway he called me today and left me a message and it just made me want to cry. He said, "Lindsey this is Dr. J. I just wanted to tell you I am so sorry that this didn't work. I hope you are doing ok. Now don't get too down. We're down but not out! We've got things we can do. Hang in there and I'll see you next week." Isn't he awesome! We have our post IVF consult next Thursday so I am excited to see what he has to say. As of now, our plans(we know that these are ours and may not be Gods, so I use that word kind of cautiously) are to use our flex spending account for next year and take out enough for an IVF cycle. At least that way it is taken out of our pay checks over the whole year and it is before taxes so that saves a little bit of money. So if we do that, we can do our second cycle in January. It kinda stinks that we have to wait, because we are ready to go again ASAP;). But that's just life and we'll try to just enjoy the break I guess. And we also haven't heard Dr. J's opinion on our first cycle but i have a feeling he is going to say, we just need to try again!
I just want to thank everyone again for all of the messages and prayers throughout this journey. I am getting messages from friends of friends and people I didn't even know read my blog! It just means so much to me. I love to be vulnerable and open and I don't care who reads this, but I just didn't realize that so many people were. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Your words and prayers mean so much to us!
9 comments:
Lindsey, isn't Dr J the best?! And his staff is awesome too! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm a firm believer in IVF Cycle #2....I have a crazy little 16 month old miracle baby to prove it. Dr. J sounds so much like my Dr. Z....having a great RE really does make the process so much better. We actually miss our extended family at our Fertility Clinic....
And...who is to say that this is not God's plan? On the morning of my 2nd IVF ET I was in church (it was a sunday)I was not feeling hopeful about our transfer that day because the report from the day before was that only 2 of our 5 fertilized eggs were looking hopeful. I knew that at 41 years old, two mediocre embryos were not going to give us the odds we needed. I was feeling defeated. Well...the readings that day were about the story of Abraham and the city of Sodom. God wanted to tear down the city and rid it of all the sinners but Abraham pleaded with God to save the city if just 100 good souls could be found. God said okay, He would agree to 100...but then Abraham went on to ask...."but what if only 50 souls can be found?" Would you save the city for 50 souls? Once again, God thought it over and said okay. Abraham continued to ask and ask and get the number down to just 1 soul.
When the priest got up to talk about the readings of the day...he said something that changed my thoughts on God's plans for my life....The priest said "It is okay to ask for the same thing over and over and over again". God is not here to deny our wishes and prayers but your asking may not coincide with His plan, so don't be afraid to continue to ask." It made me realize that it is okay to ask for myself. All my prayers usually were for others, I very rarely prayed for myself as I somehow came to believe it was selfish. Well...that morning I prayed like I had never prayed before and my connection to God was as close as it has been in years. I left that church in tears over my renewed faith and God's profound way of getting us the messages we need at the time.
2 hours later I arrived at my fert clinic to find that 4 of our 5 eggs were looking great and ready for transfer. 12 days later...2 positive beta tests and today I have my beautiful miracle boy.
Don't be afraid to keep asking. Don't be afraid to follow your heart. God's plan will unfold no matter your actions.....but he won't know your heart unless you stay true to it. Keep the faith. I know your prayers will be answered....in His time.
kd
I agree!!! You have the best doctor out there! His message to you doesn't surprise me one bit. He is an awesome man. I would have to agree that he will probably say that you just need to try again, but you never know. He always seems to have a little something up his sleeve. ha! Good luck!!
What a blessing to have such a wonderful RE! Serioulsy sometimes finding a great one is half the battle! And January will be here before you know it ( although it doesnt seem that way now) and then everything will be wonderful!
Wow - what an amazing doctor you have! Sometimes it's all the little things they do that really makes a difference. Glad he is able to answer all the questions you have, and to be a kind and caring person on top of that.
keeping you in my prayers that the next cycle will be worth the wait:) God definitely has a plan for you two patience is so hard but Im sure it will definitely be worth the wait!
Just found your blog through Jill. We will be praying for you guys. I just know that your hearts are still borken. I understand that all too well! We have been married 7 years and have been TTC since April 2006. It takes so muxh out of you...yet grows your faith at the same time! I know that God is telling us all "Just wait...I know what I'm doing." And we just have to learn to trust Him!
Keeping your guys in my thoughts and prayers. We took out a major loan when we started IVF and then used some money in a life insurance policy and some money from another retirement account. Was it worth it yes, would I do it again yes!!
My reccomendation is to take a vacation before you try IVF#2 it was our magic bullet :)
I'm just now reading this post! I'm not sure how I missed it. Your doctor sounds wonderful! Enjoy your break and know that I'm already praying for your cycle in January. I'll actually be praying that it happens naturally before then. Wouldn't that be wonderful!? :)
((HUGS))
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