To my husband...

Today Rob and I have been married for 3 years! Wow I can't believe it has been that long! Rob, you are the best husband any girl could hope for! You are so caring and loving and always picking me up when I'm down. You are so encouraging and such a man of God. Infertility SUCKS;), but it has brought us even closer together and you have proved to me that you are the awesome husband I thought you were! I love you more everyday! And I can't wait to see you in the "daddy" role! I know you will be just as awesome at that!!! I love you, baby!

August 26, 2006

My Favorite Scripture right now....

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Today

Well today was a good day overall. I got to see "my Mary"! She's one of my fav's! And I got to see my favorite Dr. in the whole wide world! We had our post IVF consult today. Dr J. was frustrated because he said my cycle was perfect. He said my chart was in the "pregnant" pile. I was one that he KNEW would be pregnant. He said as far as the embryos go, mine were great. He said it's hard to tell about the 4 cell....it could've went either way but the 7 and 8 cell were really good embryos. He said the most important thing in the IVF process is embryo quality and I had that. I love how caring he is. He is just amazing!! He just said so many things that made us know that he cares about us and our dreams of having a family. Basically the conclusion we came to is that we just need to try again. He said the reason he only got 5 good eggs was because he knew he only needed 3 so when they told him they had 5 good ones he stopped "retrieving". He said there was no reason to keep sticking me. So basically our plan is to go for IVF#2 in January. And we told him after this cycle we had a different outlook on freezing and that we would probably freeze with our next cycle. He was like a kid at Christmas when we said that. He said he would have no trouble getting 10-12 good eggs next time and that he would culture them out to the blast stage and transfer the two best ones and we would freeze the rest. He said we would probably have 4-6 to freeze at the most and he transfers 3 with a frozen transfer usually because the success rates are a lot lower than with a fresh cycle. So we felt really positive about all of that. We also brought up my endometriosis because by January it will have been a year since my surgery. He wanted to be safe and keep it from coming back before our next IVF so he put me on birth control for the next 5 months. We felt good about that too. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We are doing really good most days but some days are really hard. And just pray that God continues to show us His will for us! Thanks!

Please Pray for my Friend!

I know I have so many prayer warriors out there, so I was hoping that I could recruit you guys. Her name is Pam. She just beat breast cancer a couple months ago. Now she found out today after having back pain and getting a CT scan done that the cancer seems to have metastasized. She has a caringbridge site if you would like to read her story. She is a person with such a strong faith and has been such an inspiration to me over the past 8 years that I've known her. Her site is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/pamschoonveld. Thanks!

The Best Dr.

I have one of the best Dr.'s ever! I am so thankful for him. He is not only a very intelligent man, he is so genuine and sweet! He seems to know his patients and what they need. He knows that I always have lots of questions and can be very emotional(I am sure that I'm not the only patient like this:)). The first time after he mentioned IVF to us I just had so many questions. We had met with him on a Saturday and by Monday I had lots of questions and called to make an appt. I got extra blessed because they had a cancellation that day and we got in to see him that Monday. I told him that I had read through his big IVF manual twice over the weekend and had some questions. He just gave me his little smile that he does and said "that doesn't surprise me that you read through that twice already(this manual is big!)." But anyway we got to talk more about IVF, get lots of questions answered and when we went to pay, the receptionist said, "oh he isn't charging you for today. Go out and have dinner with that money." That is just the kind of guy he is!! But anyway he called me today and left me a message and it just made me want to cry. He said, "Lindsey this is Dr. J. I just wanted to tell you I am so sorry that this didn't work. I hope you are doing ok. Now don't get too down. We're down but not out! We've got things we can do. Hang in there and I'll see you next week." Isn't he awesome! We have our post IVF consult next Thursday so I am excited to see what he has to say. As of now, our plans(we know that these are ours and may not be Gods, so I use that word kind of cautiously) are to use our flex spending account for next year and take out enough for an IVF cycle. At least that way it is taken out of our pay checks over the whole year and it is before taxes so that saves a little bit of money. So if we do that, we can do our second cycle in January. It kinda stinks that we have to wait, because we are ready to go again ASAP;). But that's just life and we'll try to just enjoy the break I guess. And we also haven't heard Dr. J's opinion on our first cycle but i have a feeling he is going to say, we just need to try again!

I just want to thank everyone again for all of the messages and prayers throughout this journey. I am getting messages from friends of friends and people I didn't even know read my blog! It just means so much to me. I love to be vulnerable and open and I don't care who reads this, but I just didn't realize that so many people were. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Your words and prayers mean so much to us!