Trusting God's plans for our lives

I don't know if this is going to get any better any time soon....

2012-01-12T12:25:00.000-05:00

Blogging that is.... I am so bad at it! Whenever I have time to myself, I love to get on here and read up on everyone elses lives but I just have trouble taking the time to update everyone on mine!:) And well I don't think it's going to get better anytime soon....Because......

THING 3 WILL BE HERE IN JULY!!!

I know everyone will be wondering. No there was no trying...One Period post-partum and we like to call this little one our "One Hit Wonder"!:) Praise God for this blessing! We are SO happy and couldn't be more excited!!!

Rice Cereal

2011-10-30T23:13:00.001-04:00

Was not really a hit....

Our girls have really bad reflux and are huge pukers, so since they are over 4 months I thought I would try a little rice cereal but I think we'll wait a few more weeks to try again because they were not fans...at all!:)

And here are a few more pics...just because:)

Rob caught Natalie in action!;)

I'm not sure what this is..maybe a poop face?;)

Syd loves to try to hold her bottle:)

They absolutely LOVE this playmat!

The Annual Finney Pumpkin Carving Party!

2011-10-29T22:47:00.000-04:00

Every year our friends have a pumpkin carving party and it's so much fun! This year was just as fun, but a lot different too!:) The hosts had their first little baby 2 months ago, we had our two four months ago, my sister had her little girl 6 weeks ago and another couple had their little girl, last year on the night of the party! So there were 5 new little ones there this year! A lot less pumpkin carving going on and a lot of feeding, changing, holding, and chasing babies around!:) It was still tons of fun though!!

Sydney sittin' in a pumpkin;)

Not really enjoying it too much though:)

Laney got to sit in the pumpkin too!:)

The awesome hosts and our great friends, The Finneys!

Little Cooper!...such a lil sweetie!

My sister and her little Laney girl!

Laney Grace

Syd with Uncle Kevin, Aunt Jenny and Laney

Nick, cleaning out the pumpkin for the babies to sit in!;)

"Oh my goodness!!!...get me outta here!!"-Coop

Natalie napping

And last but not least, Bela Karolyi and Mary Lou Retton showed up at the party!;)

All Caught up!

2011-10-29T00:07:00.002-04:00

Check out all of the new posts below! I think I am all caught up! Now I am going to try to keep up with this blog!!:)

October 23, 2011

2011-10-29T00:06:00.000-04:00

Family Photos

Cutest Cows EVER!:)

2011-10-29T00:03:00.000-04:00

4 months!(October)

2011-10-28T23:53:00.003-04:00

my lil divas!

sweet girls

Syd fell asleep praying:)

Sweetest smile ever!

Look at those cheeks!!;)

Nattie Bear and her daddy:)

Natalie, you weigh 13 lbs 4oz and Sydney, you weigh 11 lbs 14 oz. You both eat around 4-6 ounces every 3 hours. It varies, but Natalie takes closer to 6oz and Syd closer to 4-5oz. You both sleep from around 9pm-8am! Mommy and Daddy love this!!:) You are just now in size 2 diapers. We have just moved up to size 3-6 month clothes. Natalie needed to move up and Sydney got bumped up but can still wear 0-3 month clothes too. You both love to "talk"! We are working on tummy time and rolling over but neither one of you are interested in tummy time OR rolling over! I guess you will do it when you are good and ready!;) Love you sweet babies!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Professional NB pics!

2011-10-28T23:46:00.000-04:00

A little out of order but, the girls were 7 weeks old here:)

Dr. Jarrett meets the babies!

2011-10-28T23:35:00.000-04:00

I was so excited to take the babies to meet Dr. Jarrett! He will always have a very special place in our hearts!...Such a sweet man that helped us achieve our dream of having a family!

September 13, 2011

3 months old! (September)

2011-10-28T23:31:00.000-04:00

Bath time!

Go Colts!!

Syd and her boyfriend Coop!

me and my nattie bear!

Sweet babes ready for beddy!

Syd's got some wild hair

Natalie is daddy's little mini-me

Sydney enjoyed our walk

Sweet Syd in her sleep sack

All of the cousins, together for the first time!

2 months old! (August)

2011-10-28T23:13:00.000-04:00

My little pukers!;)

Love baby yawns!

Sweet nattie bear

Aunt Jenny's got it under control:)

I love to watch them interact!

Tummy Time!;)

August 1, 2011

2011-10-04T23:23:00.000-04:00

Sydney comes home!!!

So Happy!

Leaving our home for the last 6 weeks

The road to freedom;)

We escaped!

Free at last!:)

July 25, 2011

2011-10-04T23:06:00.000-04:00

Natalie comes home!!!!!

Carla, Melissa and Emily-3 of our fave nurses!

Leaving the NICU-bittersweet without our Sydney

Nattie Bear's first time outside!

Loading up!

We're home!

Welcome home, Natalie!

She likes her crib(she has slept here since her first night home...I'm so glad we did that. They now (at 3 months)sleep from 8p-8a with a dreamfeed at about 11p)

First time in her swing...she loves being at home!

And her first bath at home....she loves her bathtime!

Still trying to catch up...

2011-10-04T22:42:00.000-04:00

So, I am sitting here looking at my blog and totally overwhelmed at how I am going to catch up!! I am 3 months behind! So I am going to try and do one big post to get us up to date, because I really want to start documenting what is going on in our lives!

Basically Natalie was in the NICU for 5 weeks and Sydney was there for 6 weeks. We really had a great experience in there. I knew all of the Drs and a lot of the nurses and it made everything so much easier. I have worked with almost all of the Dr.s and all of the NPs and some of the nurses in the NICU I work at. As much as we wished we didn't have to spend 6 weeks in the hospital, they all took really good care of us! We were so thankful for all of them. The girls finally got to the point that they could take a bottle and were ready to come home. Sydney came home taking a bottle, but wasn't the greatest at it. They sent us home with a feeding tube for her....just in case. She had a really bad episode where she stopped breathing during a feeding and it took a lot to get her to come out of it(this was at home). I felt like we were force feeding her at times to get enough fluid/calories in her and was afraid that this was taking it's toll on her. Luckily I felt very comfortable with the feeding tube and so we put it back in a few days after she came home. We would offer her a bottle and as soon as she seemed done we would give her the rest through her tube. We did this for about a week and then she pulled it out and never looked back! She loves her food now! We also brought her home on a monitor because I was scared to death of her having an episode and not being able to bring herself out of it, at night, while we were asleep. We only had her on it for about a week and felt way more comfortable since it never went off except for false alarms. One reason I feel so at ease without it is because we have the Angel Care monitor that alarms if it doesn't since movement/breathing. I love this and would definitely recommend it! It helps me sleep at night:)!

I began pumping right after the girls were born. I had originally wanted to breastfeed, but was also open to the idea that it just might not work out. I pumped every three hours basically around the clock while they were in the NICU. They got all breast milk for about their first two months of life. After they got home, though, there just wasn't enough time to pump every 3 hours. It slowly got spaced out longer and longer until I decided to stop just a couple weeks ago. So they ended up getting at least half breastmilk for 3 months. I also have quite a bit in the freezer so I feel pretty good about that. I tried to breastfeed and they really would've done well, but after 2months of pumping around the clock, I was in so much pain when they latched on and I decided that it wasn't going to work. I get sad about it sometimes now and hope to have a different experience if we are blessed with another baby. One great thing about pumping though is how many calories I burned!! I had lost all but 6lbs of pregnancy weight 2 weeks post partum and eventually lost down to 10lbs less than I weighed before getting pregnant! I highly recommend this diet plan;)!

This post is kinda all over the place but I just want to document this as best as I can so I can come back and read about it all when I forget someday:). Natalie came home July 25th and Sydney came home exactly a week later on August 1st. By this time I only had 5 weeks left of my 12 week maternity leave:(. It went way too fast. I am so blessed, though, because I am only working one 12 hour shift a week(sometimes 2). It is great to get away and spend a day doing something that I love, but not having to work full time. I am so lucky to have a hubby that manages our money so well! Here are some more pics to catch you up!...

First tub bath July 9th (Syd)

(Nat)

S&N sharing their bouncy seat- July 13th

Sweet Syd; gotta have a headband for every outfit!(July 17th)

Natalie (July 17th)

Sweet sisters!(they don't even look like sisters..let alone twins!;)) July 19th

Happy 1 month! July 22nd

July 3rd

2011-09-06T23:24:00.000-04:00

Today one of my good friends, Mary Beth, was the girls nurse. She is so sweet and she let me give the girls a little sponge bath for the first time. These little things were so big to this momma! I had been waiting years for these little moments!

Syd all clean!

Natalie all clean!

Syd and Nat

First Family Photo!

Daddy and his girls!

Slowly but surely I am getting caught up!:)....eventually I'll get there!

June 26th

2011-09-06T22:43:00.000-04:00

Grandparents get to hold the girls for the first time!!

Grammie and Papa

Grandpa Bruce and Grandma Jane

NICU stay

2011-09-06T22:36:00.000-04:00

After the first couple days that the girls were in the NICU, they were doing so good that we thought they would be home within the week. Then they decided that eating was not their thing;). They got feeding tubes placed because they either wouldn't wake up and eat or would just eat a little and not enough to meet their minimum amount needed for growth/hydration/etc. Sydney also developed severe reflux and had several episodes a day where she would drop her heart rate and oxygen saturation really low. She would go limp and turn blue and need stimulated to start breathing again. That was the hardest thing ever. I see babies do things like that all the time at work, but being the mom makes it WAY different. I will be a better NICU nurse now that I've experienced being a NICU mom.

Mommy and Daddy cuddling our babies

One blessed mama!

And a blessed Papa too!

Sweet Nattie Bear

Nattie under the bililight

Little Syd with her pacifier as big as her head;)

Sydney working on bottle feeding

Tiny Natalie

Little Syd/Big bow!:)

Me, my sister, Natnat and baby girl Allen:)

Mommy and Nattie Bear

Sydney smiling

Mommy feeding Natalie

I love that little face...she's so tiny

Sweet Syd under the bililight

Syd looking for her food:)

Natalie

One of my fave pics ever!

Friends Forever

How did I get so lucky to be these girls' mommy?!

June 22, 2011

2011-08-21T22:58:00.000-04:00

Today was the day our precious baby girls were born!

I went into the hospital on June 17th due to me having a horrible headache and feeling "yucky" and my blood pressure being 140/102 at my doctors appointment that day. They immediately admitted me to L&D and put me on strict bedrest and started me on Mag Sulfate(worst stuff ever!). They also gave me some IV and oral medication to bring my blood pressure down. I ended up spending the weekend there and was doing better so my Dr. decided to send me home(June 19th) on bedrest and instructed me to call if I started feeling bad again. I also received steriods for the babies lungs during that stay.

Me at 32wks 3days(1 wk before I was admitted to the hospital/our last baby shower)

Getting ready to go home after our first hosptial stay

On June 20th, I went in for a BP check and a non-stress test. My BP was still on the high side at 138/92 but still manageable on my oral meds at home.

On June 21st I was at home and my mom was with me and I was feeling horrible, but was trying to just ride it out because my Dr. only works wed, thurs, friday and I thought I was probably fine, but by that afternoon I gave in and called the nurse. The dr. on call had me go to triage and it was a good thing I did because while I was there my BP just kept getting higher and higher. It got up to as high as 170/113. They admitted me and put me back on Mag and said that their goal was to keep me pregnant until morning when my dr. would be there.

So the next morning my Dr. came in and said it was time to get these babies out. So I was scheduled for a C-section that morning at 11:00. I was exactly 34 weeks. Both babies were head down but I was so sick I opted for the Csection over being induced.

This has to be one of the worst pics ever but it shows how bad I looked and felt (right before the Csection)

They took me back to the OR right around 11:00 and got me all prepped.

My BP dropped really low right after the spinal so I wasn't feeling so hot here either.:)

At 11:18 our beautiful, loud daughter, Sydney Jane, entered the world at 4lbs 11oz and 16.9inches! The NICU team was there ready to take over since they were 34 weeks, but first my wonderful dr. ran around the drape and showed her off to me! She was crying the whole time and had the cutest cry! Then at 11:19 our second, beautiful, more quiet daughter, Natalie Lynn was born at 4lbs 15 oz and 17.1 inches! They were both perfect and needed no help breathing. They were checked out and then taken to the NICU(anyone under 35 weeks goes automatically).

One of the babies fresh out of the womb;)...maybe Natalie

Syd getting cleaned up

Natalie on the left, Syd on the right

Heading to the NICU

Daddy announcing their birth to our family!!

My Dr. kept me on the Mag and bedrest for the next 24 hours so I couldn't get out of bed to go see the babies but my wonderful nurse asked if she could push me over to the NICU in my bed so I could hold my babies! She was so sweet!

I can't believe she's mine(Sydney)

Love at first sight(Natalie)

They did so good! They were eating everything by bottle and breathing totally on their own...at that point I never imagined it would be another 6 weeks before we would have them both home....more posts to come. It might just take awhile;)

Catching up...

2011-08-20T12:39:00.000-04:00

I am going to try to go back and do several blog posts to catch you all up on our life these past couple months....lots of posts and pics to come!

Our girls are here!

2011-06-27T00:15:00.001-04:00

I don't have tons of time right now to post but just wanted to let you all know our babies have arrived. I ended up developing preeclampsia and they were born at 34 weeks exactly. June 22, 2011! They are doing fabulous! They are in the NICU but aren't on any oxygen and are taking all of their breastmilk by bottle! They are perfect!

INTRODUCING......

SYDNEY JANE

4lbs 11oz 17inches

And

Natalie Lynn

4lbs 15oz 17inches

32 weeks!

2011-06-10T14:47:00.000-04:00

31wks3days

We got some professional pics taken last saturday and it was so much fun and they turned out so good! Now we just have to figure out which ones we want to buy.:) I can't believe we are already at 32 weeks! This pregnancy really has flown by! We are trying to get everything done around that house that needs done before these babies arrive. We've also been putting together all of our bouncy seats, swings, pack and plays, stroller, car seats, etc.....washing and putting away baby clothes, sheets, blankets, etc. We've had two more showers thrown by my friends from work and Rob's friends from work and we have been so blessed by everyone's generosity! We have one more shower tomorrow that my mom, sister, sister-in-law and friend, emily is throwing! I'm so excited to see some people that I don't get to see very often!

I had an OB appt this week and an US. Everything still looks great! The girls were measuring 4lbs 1oz and 4lbs 4oz.! Both are head down too! My dr checked my cervix just to see if anything was going on. My cervix was soft, so at least it's doing a little something but nothing it shouldn't be doing right now;). She also told me to limit my 3 shifts a week to 8hr days instead of 12hr days. I am so glad because I am really slowing down. By the end of a 12 hr day my feet and ankles are so swollen and I am so exhausted that I feel like it takes me a couple days to recover. I worked full time for 32 weeks though, so I feel like that is pretty good...and I know that I could keep doing it but for the safety of the babies, I'm glad I don't have to push it.

How far along? 32 weeks(measuring 41 weeks!)

Total weight gain/loss: +32lbs. in 32 weeks!

Maternity clothes? Yes; they are all getting small but I really don't want to buy anymore at this point

Stretch marks? Not that I have seen

Sleep: Not very good. I have to pee at least 5 times a night and just have trouble getting comfortable, but I think I am getting used to getting less sleep.

Best moment this week: Seeing the girls on US again and knowing they weigh over 4lbs!

Movement: Yes! Lots and Lots! I think they are having little fights in there

Food cravings: not really craving anything...I am starting to get bad reflux.

Gender: Two Girls!!! We now have a list of 5 names that we will take to the hospital with us and decide once we see them.

Labor Signs: Nope

Belly Button in or out? Outie:)

What I am looking forward to: Them being here! I just wonder all the time if I will go into labor or have to be induced. It is just so exciting!

Weekly Wisdom: Surrender all your fears to God

Milestones: less than 6 weeks to go!

30 weeks!

2011-05-25T23:05:00.000-04:00

30 weeks(measuring 38 weeks)!

How far along? 30 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: +25 lbs.

Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Not yet

Sleep: Not very good, but the Ambien doesn't even do anything for me, so I'll just have to embrace it as part of pregnancy;)

Best moment this week: knowing that the girls will be here in 6-8 weeks! That isn't very much longer!

Movement: Yes! Lots and Lots! Baby A is definitely much more active, but Baby B's placenta is kinda in her way so i don't feel her as much. But I think she is just calmer too:)

Food cravings: Not really craving anything.....I've actually been nauseous again

Gender: Two Girls!!! That as of right now, don't have any names. I changed my mind:)

Labor Signs: Not Really....starting to have some cramping and possible contractions but nothing consistent or worrisome. My OB is going to check my cervix at my next appt in 2 weeks.

Belly Button in or out? Outie:)

What I am looking forward to: 32 week US to see how big they are by then!

Weekly Wisdom: Surrender all your fears to God

Milestones: We've made it to the 30's!!

I have a funny little story I might as well share. I had been sick when I was supposed to drink my glucola for the gestational diabetes test, so I didn't drink it. Instead I drank it last week for my appt. Well I started drinking it and I felt a little icky as I was sipping it but it really didn't taste that bad. I got half of it down in 5 minutes. Then I felt like some of it might come back up. My plan was to swallow it back down so I wouldn't have to do this again. Well when it came up, it was way more than I thought it would be and it sprayed outta my mouth all over the mirror in the bathroom. Then I continued to throw up in the sink and while I was doing that I was peeing all over the floor! Oh the joys of pregnancy! I had to laugh, because it really was funny once it was all over:). So I drank it again today and managed to keep it down. Now I just hope that I pass because I don't think I can do the 3 hour one. I think I'll just go on a diabetic diet instead!:)

It's been a while....

2011-05-19T10:16:00.000-04:00

Sorry it has been so long since I've posted... I usually try to at least do my posts every two weeks, but this past week I was SO sick! It started out like a cold with a cough but just kept getting worse and worse. I went in for my 28 week appt and the Dr. sent me to the OB unit to get fluids because I was getting so dehydrated. I have never felt that sick for that long. It went on for a week and the worst part was the cough. I couldn't sleep or eat or anything because I would just cough and cough and cough. My whole body hurt...and I was running out of clean underwear because every time I coughed so hard I peed my pants:). My Dr. finally put me on antibiotics and that is when I started feeling better. They ended up testing me for Pertussis because another nurse on my unit had it and I had all of the symptoms, but it came back negative. Whatever it was, though, the antis kicked it and I am better so that's all I care! This pic is from 28wks 5 days.....well lets just look at a comparison though:)

9 weeks

Almost 20 weeks later:)

We also had our first shower, thrown by Rob's sister, Michelle, our neice\, Kailey, and Rob's mom! It was so much fun and I was glad I was finally feeling better by then so that I could be there:). There were so many cute lil things. Rob's mom crocheted these little diapers as party favors and they had little chocolates in them..

Michelle made these really awesome cookies that said, "twin girls" and "culross girls"(I think). I say I think because I asked Rob to get a pic of them and he said he did but he didn't. I'm a little sad about that right now because I just figured it out. I am hoping someone else did. There was also a cute cake(which Rob got 20 pics of )...

And the guys(my dad and rob's stepdad) drove golf carts to pic up the guests...because they had to park at the top of the hill and the house is at the bottom of the hill. Rob also got 20 pics of these, but none of the drivers(maybe I'll be in charge of the camera next time;))

We got so many nice things and it was so much fun! I think Rob had fun too, but he is glad he doesn't have to be at any of our other showers:).

preparing party food

opening presents(rob trying to figure out who it's from:))

Cute lil cousin kailey

Two of the 4 great grandmas:)

Also I guess I should update about the babies:)! They are doing great! They were estimated to weigh 2lbs 10oz and 2lbs 11oz at our 28 week Ultrasound. I almost have 6lbs of baby in me....probably do by now! We only got a couple of pics because I was feeling so bad...

Baby A of course would not show her face, but she has hair! You can see it floating in the amniotic fluid where the arrow is pointing:).

This is Baby B's face...you have to really look at it to find it but she is looking straight at us and has her little arms under her chin..

I'll post the survey with my 30 week post....I can't believe I'll be 30 weeks next Wednesday!!!

26 weeks

2011-04-27T21:56:00.000-04:00

26 weeks(belly measuring 30 wks)

How far along? 26 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: +22.5 lbs.

Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Not yet

Sleep: Not great...but my OB gave me some Ambien today, so I might try to take that on the nights before I work, because some people that are hard to put up normally are even harder to put up with without sleep;)

Best moment this week: feeling little knees, elbows, shoulders, butts moving across my belly. They are getting so big and very active!

Movement: Yes! Lots and Lots in the last couple days!

Food cravings: Not really craving anything..

Gender: Two Girls!!! With really cute little names;)

Labor Signs: Nope...they are being very good little girls:)

Belly Button in or out? Outie:)

What I am looking forward to: 28 week Ultrasound! I love when we get to see them!

Weekly Wisdom: Surrender all your fears to God

Milestones: 26 weeks!? Everyday is a milestone to me!

I had an appt today and everything is going great! I haven't had any contractions and BP is good. No swelling yet either! Hopefully it stays this way for awhile longer!

Less than 99 days to go!

2011-04-26T13:10:00.000-04:00

My little baby ticker says I have 99 days to go, and since that is counting down 40 weeks that really means I have 85 days or less to go! That is not very long! Especially since almost every weekend until then is already got things going on between showers, work, and little odds and ends we want to get done before they arrive! I don't want to rush it, but i am so ready for July to be here so we can see them and hold them! It is just so exciting!!

I am just feeling so humbled. I just started crying this morning. Just that God is blessing us with this experience and not only giving us one baby, but TWO! I have had such an uneventful pregnancy and have just been so blessed! I don't feel deserving of all of this. I was also thinking about all of the awesome gifts we have already recieved....people are just so giving! We haven't even had any of the many showers that wonderful friends and family are planning for us and we already have several clothes, some diapers, wipes, blankets, etc. We also have been given all of our bedding, our double stroller(that the car seats will fit in), 2 pack n plays, two bouncy seats, a bumbo seat. And we have hand me down stuff that people have given us also! We are just so so so thankful!!! It feels awesome to be so loved and to know that our babies are so loved already(and that they have been even before they came to be)! THANK YOU!

I can really tell that the babies are growing! Their movements are getting very strong! Rob woke me up this morning to tell me bye and when I moved there was a baby way up in my ribs...it was like the worst burning sensation. I was kinda writhing around in pain and finally she must've moved down a little. Rob put his hand on my tummy up there and he was giggling. He said she was going crazy in there! And then the rest of this morning they have been so active! It is so neat!!...and a little painful at times:). I can't wait to see them again in 2 weeks and see how big they've gotten. Work was really busy yesterday and I didn't get to sit down very much. I can definitely feel it! I don't know how much longer I can work 12 hour days when they are like that. As long as not every day is like that, I think we'll be ok for a while longer though. It is cool because now that I am almost 26 weeks, I can look at babies at work and see what my babies look like! I feel big until I look at those babies and think, "I have two of those in here!" Then I don't feel as big!:)

Cousins!!!

2011-04-24T22:04:00.000-04:00

Me and my babies at 25w4d and my sister and her baby at 17w3d!!! It is so awesome that we are pregnant together! Our kids are going to be best friends!!! I can't wait to find out if baby Allen is a boy or a girl!!

Tammy

2011-04-20T15:17:00.000-04:00

One of my sweet blog friends, Tammy, got some really sad news today. Please go visit her blog and give her some encouragement. My heart is breaking for her....

24 Week Pics

2011-04-14T21:55:00.000-04:00

Big babies!

Belly button is out!

Baby B's sweet little foot

Baby A's cute lil nose

Baby B is on the bottom and you can see baby A's foot and knee on top getting ready to give her a good kick!

24 Weeks!

2011-04-14T09:18:00.000-04:00

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: +18.5 lbs.

Maternity clothes? Yes...I got some hand me downs this week from some friends!

Stretch marks? Not yet

Sleep: It's ok...the rib pain is getting worse. It reminds me a lot of the pain after having a lap done....when the air is trying to escape and it feels like someone is stabbing you!

Best moment this week: Hitting 24 weeks and knowing that everything is going great!

Movement: Yes! They are getting stronger and more active!

Food cravings: Not really craving anything...I just like food!:)

Gender: Two Girls!!! With really cute little names;)

Labor Signs: No! And there better not be for a long time! Hoping for 38 weeks!:)

Belly Button in or out? It's starting to poke out

What I am looking forward to: 28 weeks! My first goal! Although I think they are staying in for the long haul, which is great!

Weekly Wisdom: Surrender all your fears to God

Milestones: Viability, but I'll feel much better when we hit 28 weeks.

We got to see the girls yesterday! It is getting harder to really see them on ultrasound because they are getting so big! Baby A was 1 lb 12 oz. and Baby B was 1 lb. 8 oz. We didn't really get any good pictures. The lady doing the ultrasound doesn't seem to want to try to hard to get us some cute pics...just to get the measurements. They also had me laying on my back and that didn't last very long until I almost passed out, so I had to lay on my side and it was harder for her to get to things. They are still transverse though and kicking each other in the head! As of now I am going to the Dr. every two weeks with US's every 4 weeks. I get to do the Glucose Tolerance Test in 4 weeks. Yuck! It makes my tummy hurt just thinking about that stuff I have to drink.

We are trying to get started on the nursery, so we went to b.abies r us last night to get some stuff we were wanting and Rob starts spotting bedding he likes better than what we already picked out. Then I got on board with him. So now we have to pack up the bedding we already bought and take it back and also we noticed that someone already bought our 2nd bedding and the accessories. We knew it had to be one of our moms...turns out they went together and bought it. So now we need to get that and take it back so we can switch. Rob is such a trouble maker! I am glad he is the one who changed his mind this time and not me, though!:)

This is the new bedding. It looks better in person. It is just brighter and has more colors that we can work with.

I can't thinking of anything else right now, but I'll try to post a pic tonight!

22 Weeks!

2011-03-30T13:50:00.001-04:00

How far along? 22 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: + 13lbs (I was told that my "double chin was so cute" this week;)) I've decided to embrace the weight gain of a twin pregnancy, so I am glad I could laugh at that comment:) People say the darndest things! LOL

Maternity clothes? Yes...I'm going to need to get some bigger ones pretty soon!

Stretch marks? Not yet

Sleep: It's ok...I've been having a lot of back and rib pain lately which makes it hard.

Best moment this week: Rob getting to feel the babies move from the outside!

Movement: Yes! I can even see little kicks from the outside too if I hold real still:)

Food cravings: Anything not good for me!

Gender: Two Girls!!!

Labor Signs: No! And there better not be for a long time! Hoping for 38 weeks!:)

Belly Button in or out? Just barely in...it is getting pretty flat

What I am looking forward to: Seeing the girls again on my birthday! My 24 week US is that day!:)

Weekly Wisdom: Surrender all your fears to God

Milestones: Kicks that we can feel and see!!! And agreeing on names!

Getting started on the nursery!

2011-03-25T11:04:00.000-04:00

I just ordered this wall decal! I am so excited to start the nursery!!

The girls' bedding.....

2011-03-21T13:42:00.000-04:00

Isn't it cute!!

It is called Jungle Jill. We are going to buy one bedding set so we can get started on the room and then register for the other set and the accessories! I just love it! Rob is acutally the one who picked it out! He did a good job!;)

20 weeks!

2011-03-16T22:22:00.000-04:00

We had our 20 week US and appt today. It went great! The babies are healthy and doing awesome! They both weigh approx. 12 ounces!! Such big girls;)! Everything is going great! I am starting to have some aches and pains but nothing I can't handle right now. Rob and I have been working on naming our little princesses and are narrowing it down, but per Rob's request we aren't telling the names until they are born. I am always so impatient when people do this, but it is kinda fun to have something to announce the day they arrive!:) Praise God for blessing us with healthy babies and a healthy pregnancy so far! We are so thankful!!

you can't tell very well in this pic but my innie is almost no longer an innie;)

How far along? 20 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: + ~10lbs (since I am halfway through the pregnancy this means that I should only gain about 20lbs, right?!?....I know that isn't quite how it works....my OB said it would probably be around 50!! Yikes!)

Maternity clothes? Yes...a couple of my shirts are already getting a little short!

Stretch marks? Not yet

Sleep: It's ok...I've been having a lot of back pain lately. I went to a chiropractor who works specifically with pregnant women, today and got adjusted. She said my pelvis was very "off". One leg was shorter than the other because of it...No wonder it hurt!:)

Best moment this week: Getting to see our babies again and seeing their perfect little bodies that God created! Praise God they are healthy and doing great! (and so is my cervix!)

Movement: Yes, for sure!! It is mainly just little tickles but it is starting to feel a little different. Baby B is laying transverse..... up practically in my rib cage so when I am sitting I can feel her telling me to stop squishing her;).

Food cravings: No real cravings right now

Gender: Two Girls!!!

Labor Signs: No! And there better not be for a long time! Hoping for 38 weeks!:)

Belly Button in or out? Just barely in...it is getting pretty flat

What I am looking forward to: Seeing the girls again on my birthday! My 24 week US is that day!:)

Weekly Wisdom: Just Trust God and don't worry! Give it all to Him!

Milestones: We're over half way there!!

P.S. My sister is pregnant too! She is 8 weeks behind me! It is so exciting! We always hoped our kids would be close in age!! I can't wait to find out what she is having!

For the Grandmas(and whoever else:))

2011-03-16T22:19:00.001-04:00

Just click on this Baby Video and it will take you to our US video from today. I knew not everyone would be interested in watching, but I am sure the grandmas are. The US tech types stuff on the screen sometimes to tell you which baby it is and to show you the "girl parts" and the rest is just fun little peaks of them! Enjoy!! I keep watching it over and over!:)

PS when the video is shaking, it is the tech jiggling my tummy trying to make Baby A turnover...she is still the stubborn one!:)..just like her Aunt Jenny I tell ya!

18 weeks

2011-03-03T22:53:00.000-05:00

A couple of fun things

2011-03-01T22:03:00.000-05:00

First of all, I got the cutest/funniest card in the mail this weekend. It is kinda a big deal in my family that I have boobs now because that has never been the case:). My mom and sister were the ones with those...and my sister-in-law too! Even my 12 year old nephew when he was about 2 or 3 asked me why I had little boobies!! Also my now 8 year old nephew, Will, saw a pic of me when I was starting to show. My mom was showing him on the computer. He looked at it and asked her, "when you're pregnant and your belly grows, do other things grow too?(while kinda pointing to his chest)" Mom said, "yea, they do." He said, "I thought so." LOL So there are a lot of conversations about these things these days...mainly because I have been so proud!;) So anyway, here is the card I got in the mail from my mom. She said she just had to get this card when she saw it.:)

Love it!

Also I went shopping at an outlet mall this weekend. My goal was to buy clearanced winter clothes for next winter for the girls. I had lots of fun and didn't buy tons, but was proud of myself for the deals I got....and I didn't buy everything pink or exactly the same. We figure sometimes we will dress them alike...sometimes in coordinating colors....and sometimes in totally different outfits... Here are the things I bought

And these were the first things I bought when I found out they were girls. Our babies at work love these pacifiers(s.oothies) and usually once they've had these they won't take anything else. And I found these cute lil stuffed animals attached to them and their called w.ubanubs. Now they each have their own little animals..

I will be 18 weeks tomorrow!! I won't do a survey since I just did my 17 week one and there isn't anything new this week. I am maybe feeling movement but what I feel, feels like gas and I have a lot of that so it's hard to differentiate;). I will try to post a new belly pic in the next couple of days. Probably thursday since I work tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing great!

3 Posts in 1

2011-02-26T18:57:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. It's been a busy week. First of all I was at work on Monday and started feeling quite a bit vaginal/pelvic pressure. I tried to contact my Dr.'s office but they were taking a while to get back to me and I was of course looking at stuff on the internet and finding the worst case scenarios of what this could mean. I decided I would just email Dr. J and ask him if it was anything to worry about, hoping he would say no. Well I got a response back from him right away and he said that I needed to be seen and that he would see me since I was having trouble getting a hold of my OB's office. So I left work and met Rob there. Dr. J checked my cervix and said he thought it felt a little soft and maybe a little short, so he decided to contact my OB's office because he wanted them to see me, since pregnant womens' cervix's really aren't his specialty;). So he finally got a hold of the OB on call and he wanted me to come to OB triage. So we saw him there. He actually thought my cervix felt ok, but he wanted to see me in the office the next day just to make sure. So the next day I had a vaginal ultrasound to measure my cervix and it was perfect at 4.6. We were so thankful Dr. J was so willing to see me and then to take the time to get ahold of someone in the OB's office for us. He is just such an awesome Dr. and SO caring. He told us that he hadn't checked a cervix for a long time and hoped that he was wrong, but said that he never ignores someone with pelvic pressure! So it turned out I am probably going to have pelvic pressure as everything becomes bigger and heavier in there and that I don't need to worry unless it accompanied by bleeding and/or contractions.

So part 2 of this post is about our ultrasound that day. The tech was so sweet and after she did the vaginal US asked us if we knew what we were having yet...of course we didn't but really wanted to! So she said she didn't have much time but she would take a quick look. She did and abd US and took a look at our sweet little babies for us. Baby A is still a wild one! Always upside down and kicking up a storm on US!

Baby A with head down

Baby A kicking it's feet

And baby A is a............................................................................

GIRL!!!!!

Then she took at look at baby B. We got a really good profile pic and then it started sucking it's thumb....it was so cute! And calm;).

Baby B's sweet little profile

Baby B sucking it's thumb. It is a lot clearer on the original Us pic

And baby B is a.............................................

GIRL!!!!!

TWO GIRLS!! WE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!

There will be so much pink, bows, tutus, etc in this house!!! Yay!!! So much fun!!!!

And part 3....I guess I should do a 17 week post:)

How far along? 17 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: + 3.7lbs total

Maternity clothes? Yes...all the time pretty much...at least pants anyway

Stretch marks? Not yet

Sleep: I don't sleep well, still having vivid dreams and waking up a lot.

Best moment this week: finding out the genders of our babies!!

Movement: Maybe, but I can't be sure.....I can't wait to be sure!

Food cravings: Not really any cravings or aversions....still loving fruit!

Gender: Two Girls!!! Now we must try to agree on names....of course we had agreed on two boy names:)

Labor Signs: No! And there better not be for a long time! That pressure thing scared me!

Belly Button in or out? In, but it is getting flatter for sure

What I am looking forward to: our next ultrasound at 20 weeks just to make sure our girls haven't grown any parts that we couldn't see;)...and to make sure they are healthy!

Weekly Wisdom: Don't worry about what anyone else is going to think...if something worries you get checked out for your own peace of mind!

Milestones: Maybe finding out the genders....I don't know if that's a milestone or not:)

No picture this week....not much different. I'll post one next week!

16 Weeks!

2011-02-16T20:58:00.000-05:00

These are all pictures taken in the evening. I am not quite that big in the morning, but this bump is definitely growing!

My mom thought we should watch the butterfly grow:)

How far along? 16 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss? 4.1 lbs

Maternity clothes? Yep!

Stretch marks? None yet

Sleep? Still dreaming all night long and my dreams are really weird and have totally random people in them

Best moment this week? Nothing new...still excited to be pregnant!

Movement? I can't wait! I am getting kinda impatient;)

Food cravings/aversions? I don't think I have really had any cravings or aversions. I really like fruit right now, so maybe I'm craving that

Gender? I am dying to know!!!

Symptoms? I haven't really had any lately....

What I am looking forward to? Finding out the genders!

Weekly Wisdom? I am kinda boring this week...I don't think I have any

Milestones? Babies went on their first flight this past week;)

14/15 week post

2011-02-07T15:48:00.001-05:00

Almost 15 weeks(in the evening)

I look so big in these pics. I think the babies are really starting to grow!

Faith and Hope in our God is what got us here!!

How far along? 14 weeks 5 days!

Total weight gain/loss? 2.6 lbs

Maternity clothes? I bought some and I love them! I need more but I am having trouble finding ones I like and can afford

Stretch marks? None yet...but I feel things really stretching so I got some Palmers Cocoa Butter for my tummy

Sleep? Still dreaming all night long and my dreams are really weird and have totally random people in them

Best moment this week? Nothing new...still excited to be pregnant!

Movement? I can't wait! I've had lots of people tell me it will probably be within the next couple weeks!

Food cravings/aversions? Swiss cake rolls!!...but I haven't actually eaten any, I've just really wanted to;)...No aversions. I think the sickness has left for now!

Gender? I have no idea, but I just need to know soon because I am impatient!

Symptoms? aches/pains in my lower back and stomach....I think things are really starting to grow and stretch:). A VERY slow digestive system!!

What I am looking forward to? Finding out the genders!

Weekly Wisdom? When you are pregnant pooping becomes like a once a week occurrence!

Milestones? 15 weeks!

First OB appt!

2011-01-27T22:50:00.000-05:00

We had our first OB appt! It was so great! We got to see the babies and have our very first abdominal US! The babies look awesome! They are getting so big! Baby A weighs 3 oz and Baby B weighs 2 oz. They are both still perfect! We also found out according to our 6 week US, I was measuring 1 day ahead so we are actually 13w1d today. Dr. H said she wouldn't change our due date anymore, but that the most accurate way to figure out the gestation is by that first US. So I am one day further along than I thought! Yay!;) There wasn't too much else to our appt. We talked to Bridget and she told us that starting at 20 weeks we would have an US every 4 weeks and at 30 weeks we would have NSTs every week. She said she would stop labor up to 36 weeks and depending how I felt she would feel fine inducing or doing a Csection anytime after that. I want to get to 36 weeks so bad! One of my biggest fears is preterm labor. I will feel much better when I hit 28 weeks. Ok now for some pictures!!

Baby A(closest to the exit route;))....look how sweet with it's hands up to it's face. The US tech says she thinks this one is a boy because he was stubborn and kept flippin over making it hard to get measurements. "He" also had his little feet crossed(indian style). And he's the bigger one. HR was 153 bpm

This is Baby A(on top of baby B right now)...so sweet "she" just layed there with her arm over "her" face and had "her" legs crossed at the knee. She was so cooperative....must be a lil lady!;) HR was 150bpm

Both of our lil Angels:). So thankful for these little ones!

I need to stop referring to them as he and she. That US tech has me thinking they are a girl and boy now. I can't wait to know for sure! We don't have another US until 20 weeks, but I think I am going to have a friend do one at work at around 16 because we can't wait!! Oh Bridget also said there is a possibility that they could be identical...we won't know that until we do a test after they are born. They have their own placentas but Bridget is an identical twin and they both had their own placentas. Rob thinks it would be cool if they're identical because he said if they are, he thinks it is that 3rd embryo that we ended up putting back that split:)...I guess we'll see.

How far along? 13 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss? still only up 1 lb

Maternity clothes? I bought some and I love them! They make me look pregnant! I look really pregnant at night, but not so much in the morning:)

Stretch marks? None...I need to get something to start putting on my tummy though

Sleep? still dreaming a lot and I have to get up to pee more during the night

Best moment this week? Seeing the babies!!

Movement? getting closer to that. They are very active...now they just need to get a little bigger

Food cravings/aversions? I haven't had any real cravings this week and am having very few aversions if any. I am VERY thankful for that!

Gender? Boy/Girl???....I am just ready to find out so we can really start talking about names and start shopping!

Symptoms? I feel like I am having to pee a lot more often. I feel like the Nausea has went away...it has been close to a week. We'll see if I start feeling it anymore. I don't really think I have much else going on right now. Still tired but not near as tired as early on.

What I am looking forward to? Having an US at work to find out the genders!

Weekly Wisdom? Don't worry your belly will grow soon and then you'll wish it would stop!;)

Milestones? We are in the 2nd trimester and we got to have our first abdominal US!!!

I thank God several times a day for these miracles! Thank you Jesus!

Maternity Clothes and a growing belly!

2011-01-25T21:18:00.000-05:00

I went and bought a few maternity things today and I love them because they make me look pregnant!:) My regular jeans hit me funny and just make me look like I am gaining weight, but maternity jeans are awesome! And I got some maternity shirts too. Just so you know this is tonight...after we went out and ate, so in the morning my belly won't quite look like this, but I think it is growing a little! Yeah for the start of a belly!!!

For all of you whiners;)

2011-01-21T09:28:00.000-05:00

I think it grew a little overnight because it wasn't quite that big yesterday:)

12 Weeks!

2011-01-20T09:31:00.000-05:00

I don't have a picture today because my "outfit" is in the dirty clothes and I think I am smaller than I was last week anyway:(. I want a belly!!! I can't wait. I am hoping that in the next few weeks at least I will be able to tell that it's getting bigger!

How far along? 12 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss? I finally weighed myself and I was really surprised to see that I only have gained 1 lb. It feels like way more.

Maternity clothes? not yet:(

Stretch marks? None...I'm not even really growing yet:(

Sleep? still dreaming a lot and I have to get up to pee more during the night

Best moment this week? I am pregnant with two babies!! What else could I ask for?!?!

Movement? Still have a while to wait for that

Food cravings/aversions? I haven't had any real cravings this week...but I totally despise vegetables...which isn't really anything new:)

Gender? I don't know....I am just ready to find out so we can really start talking about names!

Symptoms? I thought the nausea was totally going away, but just when I think it must be gone I have a day where I don't feel good at all, but my good days are definitely outnumbering my sickly ones. I am still tired but not near as tired as I was in the very beginning. My lower back is starting to get sore...I guess it is because my pelvis is starting to stretch. I got a nice lower back massage at acupuncture yesterday and it was heavenly! Overall I haven't felt too bad at all. And I enjoy all of the new symptoms as they come because it is just so cool to finally have pregnancy symptoms!!

What I am looking forward to? Our first OB appt next week(13 weeks). We get to see the babies again and maybe have our first ever abdominal ultrasound!

Weekly Wisdom? Don't worry your belly will grow eventually

Milestones? Our babies are officially referred to as fetuses as of 11w1d

11 weeks

2011-01-12T21:27:00.001-05:00

I can't believe I am 11 weeks already! Time is starting to go a little faster now, and I imagine it will only go quicker and quicker! I don't have an 11 week picture because technically I am not 11 weeks until tomorrow and I don't think there is really too much change but I'll make sure to take a pic next week. I have a feeling in the next few weeks there will start to be a difference! So since I don't have a pic of me...here's a pic of my man Dr. J.....:)

One of the two men that got me pregnant.....;)

Oh and here's the other one...lol:)

Ok here we go......

How far along? 11 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Still don't know, but we did get new batteries for the scale, so maybe I'll check that out.

Maternity clothes? Nope...I'm still waiting

Stretch marks? No new ones:)

Sleep: I don't sleep well, still having vivid dreams and waking up a lot.

Best moment this week: letting our families hear the heartbeats with the doppler...it is so cool!

Movement: Not yet- but I can't wait!

Food cravings: I am over the cheeseburger craving for now...thank goodness...no real cravings this week

Gender: Now I am thinking maybe two girls. I am going to be super excited no matter what they are, but I just wanna know, so I can shop!

Labor Signs: No! And there better not be for a long time!

Belly Button in or out? In

What I am looking forward to: Our first OB appt and another US on January 27th (13 weeks)!

Weekly Wisdom: Let your sweet hubby shovel the snow and clean the kitchen...this treatment won't last forever!!

Milestones: Released by Dr. J to turn the lights out and let the good times roll! LOL

Overwhelmed

2011-01-09T23:07:00.001-05:00

.......with so much joy and thankfulness, while laying in bed, after just listening to our babies hearts fluttering away....it's so humbling.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

My babies at 10 weeks!

2011-01-06T20:23:00.000-05:00

We got released today! It was so bittersweet for sure! We'll miss Dr. J, but we are so glad to be to this point finally!! And we are excited to start seeing our OB Dr. Hurry! I told Dr. J, "well maybe we'll see you in about 2 years." He looked at me and said, "I better see you before 2 years. You better bring the babies to see me!" I was like, "oh yeah! We'll do that!;)" Later this afternoon, I emailed him, thanking him for everything and telling him that we would miss him. He emailed back and said, "Your welcome. My pleasure-really. Love you guys." How sweet is he?!?! I just love him;)

So anyway, I'll be calling to make an appt with our OB tomorrow. Dr. J said she should want to see us within the next couple of weeks. So exciting! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!!!

10 Weeks!

2011-01-06T11:14:00.000-05:00

How far along? 10 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Still don't know. I need to get a scale that works

Maternity clothes? Nope...I'm still waiting

Stretch marks? See last weeks answer;)

Sleep: I'm still pretty tired most of the time, but since the beginning of the pregnancy I haven't slept well at all. I having really wild vivid dreams. I read that this is from the hormones.

Best moment this week: Finding the babies HB on the doppler. I usually can only find one, but once the HB was like double time, so i think it was picking up both of them!

Movement: Not yet- but I can't wait!

Food cravings: Grapenuts and Cheeseburgers!! HA

Gender: I think it will be 2 boys:)...I don't know why...that's just what I'm thinking

Labor Signs: No! And there better not be for a long time!

Belly Button in or out? In, but it has weird tingly feelings a lot.

What I miss: Nothing!

What I am looking forward to: Today's US, and maybe being released and being a regular pregnant person....although this scares me a little too

Weekly Wisdom: I don't think I have any this week

Milestones: Double Digits!!!

9 weeks

2011-01-02T21:21:00.000-05:00

How far along: 9 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain/loss: My scale doesn't work. I am kinda curious about this because I know that I have gained weight.....I'm just wondering how much!!

Maternity clothes: Not yet, but I can't wait!!!

Stretch marks: maybe a few on my brand new C cups! LOL

Best moment this week: my babies don't have tails anymore;)

Movement: No, but I can't wait for this....what an amazing thing to feel a baby moving inside you!

Food craving/aversions: I want cheeseburgers ALL. THE. TIME. !!! I am going to have to get a personal trainer after this pregnancy for sure!:)

Belly button in or out: in

What I miss: Nothing!

What I am looking forward to: The ultrasound on Thursday(10 weeks)....getting a belly....and being able to hear my babies hearts beating on the doppler I am borrowing from a friend!!

Weekly wisdom: Be prepared for tears to flow a lot easier than they normally do....(this is something I've figured out on my own this week:))

Milestones: We're getting so close to double digits!!!

Symptoms: I've decided that being pregnant(for me) feels like a continuous hangover. I have a headache most of the time and just feel kinda icky. But I function just fine and am able to eat and everything, so I am so lucky! I am still tired all the time and very emotional when I least expect it.

I am still loving being pregnant!! I'm trying to enjoy every bit of it and to not worry. I have done so much better about not worrying since our last ultrasound, but I am ready to see my babies! I need to see their hearts beating again, so I can't wait for Thursday to get here! I am so proud of myself. I haven't even emailed Dr. Jarrett for 3 whole weeks!....and he thought I wouldn't be able to stop being so psycho!;) I think I am doing great!:)

8 weeks!!

2010-12-23T08:56:00.000-05:00

How far along: 8 weeks

Maternity clothes: I am hoping I will get to wear these even sooner since I have TWO babies growing inside me!!!;)

Best moment this week: Seeing our babies and hearing their little hearts beating (again)!

Food craving/aversions: I am definitely having more aversions, but not towards anything in particular. When I don't feel good everything just sounds awful....especially Beef. Yuck!

What I miss: Not one thing!!!

What I am looking forward to: Seeing our babies again on January 6th and getting a bump!

Weekly wisdom: "Statistically you can stop worrying now......realistically, you'll never stop worrying for the rest of you life:)" -Dr. J

Milestones: Seeing our babies and hearing their beautiful heartbeats(again)!!

Symptoms: Exhaustion, sore boobies, headaches and nausea. The nausea comes and goes. It seems like its the worst when I first get up in the morning and in the evening. I sometimes throw up when I brush my teeth, but that's kinda hit or miss. But otherwise I haven't thrown up, I just feel icky on and off throughout the day. But still am loving every minute of it!:)

Some exciting news!!!!!

2010-12-20T21:28:00.000-05:00

WE'RE EXPECTING TWINS!!!

PLEASE PRAISE GOD WITH US!!!

"I would die for that"

2010-08-26T08:53:00.002-04:00

Another blogger posted this video. I have heard this song before and I just love it. The video makes it even better. You should watch it. It is an infertile woman's hearts cry...

July 17th

2010-07-17T20:50:00.004-04:00

"Heaven will hold you, before we do."

On this day last year we got to see this pic of our 3 babies in one of the earliest stages of development. We were so happy and proud when we first saw this picture. These were our babies!! We felt so blessed. Unfortunately God had different plans for these babies than we did. I still wonder if each one was a boy or a girl. What would life be like right now if they had all implanted....if God would've chosen for them to live their lives on earth with us. But that was not what he planned for them, but I still "miss them everyday...miss them in everyway."

"Glory Baby" lyrics

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…
Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do
Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…
BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

Before the Morning....

2010-06-04T15:01:00.004-04:00

I have heard this song several times lately and it is exactly where we are at right now. God is going to bring us Joy....the pain we've been feeling won't compare to the Joy He's bringing....Thank You Jesus! We can't wait for that moment....

Prayers Needed

2010-05-18T21:33:00.003-04:00

I would just like to ask for prayer for Rob and I. We are both really struggling. This journey is really getting hard on us. I think we both thought that once we were "waiting", it would be so much easier. But for some reason, it is so much harder. These last 3 weeks have seemed like 3 months. We are just ready to be parents and I don't know how much longer we can do this. So we would just appreciate prayer for peace and patience and that God would bring us a baby SOON! I know that last sentence sounds kinda silly but that is Rob prayed at dinner tonight and I loved it!:) It is exactly how we feel. We want to have patience but we want God to hurry up! ;) What can I say, we're human.

"When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there." Matthew 18:20 (The Message)

It's been awhile....

2010-05-04T22:10:00.004-04:00

It has been so long since I have posted on here..... I guess there still hasn't been much to say. I have good days and then I have bad days. All of our stuff finally went up online one week ago today! That is exciting! But I cannot even begin to tell you how long one week of waiting feels. I can't imagine what this wait is going to be like. I am hoping after the first couple weeks go by it will start to get a little easier. It probably won't though:). It is just all I can think about. I guess I should say he/she is all I can think about! Every where I go..... every minute of the day....I wish our baby was already with us. Being a mom is what my heart longs for.

Our birthparent Letter

We got our our first contact this weekend! Sounds exciting, and it was, but we were suspicious from the beginning because of what this girl said in her email. It just sounded like she might have ulterior motives....and she did. We went ahead and responded and forwarded her message to our agency. On monday we got an email from IAC saying that this person had not contacted the agency but had contacted a couple other families along with us. We are always supposed to let the agency know if we get contacted. So anyway turns out this girl was telling a couple in California that her couple in Indiana had backed out because they(we) were adopting twins. Turns out she was a scammer and was out to get some money! Luckily our agency is good about protecting us from this, but it makes me wonder how many contacts we'll get like that before we are matched. Even though we thought from the beginning this might be some kinda scam, you still get a little excited. I know this is going to be a roller coaster ride but I hope it is a really short one!

We have already gotten a couple of bigger items for the baby to get them out of the way. It has been fun! We also have some clothes from friends who were wanting to get rid of them. Lets just say if we get a girl, we are set! Rob's sister has also given us some clothes and other items along with a baby papasan. We've looked at stuff but aren't officially registering until we are matched.

Baby Culross' bed

Baby culross' dresser and papasan chair and the bear in the chair is the baby's(from my mom for christmas) also

Well I don't have much else to say. I'll try to update if anything is going on. Hopefully we have some excitement soon!

We're getting close!

2010-03-11T16:16:00.002-05:00

Just thought I would update since it has been a little while. I just feel like there hasn't been much to say lately. But we are moving forward now! We got our Home Study in the mail a few days ago and it is done and approved!! Now we just have to finish up our website and our birthparent letter and get them approved and we will be "actively" waiting!! And we are getting close!!! I can't wait! All I can do these days is dream about our baby! It is all so exciting, and emotional, and a little stressful too! I am sure it is only going to be all those things and more as we wait. I trust God's plan so much though, that I know it will all be ok. It will be AMAZING!

Oh yeah we ended up choosing pic #2. We appreciate all of your input! We decided that this pic shows most accurately who we are. Hopefully it stands out to a birthparent out there!

Vote for your favorite

2010-02-22T23:17:00.002-05:00

We took some pictures while we were visiting our parents in Florida and are trying to figure out which one to use for our main adoption profile pic. So we want to know what you all think!! Which picture is the most inviting pic? If you were a mama that was choosing an adoption plan for your baby, what pic do you think would stand out to you?? :)

Pic #1

Pic #2

Pic #3

Pic #4

Leave a comment and tell us what you think!! Thanks so much!

Run Mama Run!

2010-02-03T11:26:00.002-05:00

Rob got me a very special gift for Christmas. I had been wanting a new ipod because mine was getting old enough that it wouldn't hold it's charge for very long. Since I was wanting to run a marathon sometime this year, I needed one that would at least stay charged for 4 hours. I have been telling Rob for awhile that I like to imagine the day that I am running a race and he is there cheering me on with our baby. I say, "I could just imagine you and the baby and the baby wearing a little shirt that says, "my mommy is faster than your mommy!". So anyway we didn't get each other anything for Christmas, but when we were opening presents with my family there was a present without a name on it and Rob says, "oh that is for you from your mom." I was like, "oh, ok." I opened it up and I was so confused as to why my mom got me an ipod. My mom had given us money because we said that is what we'd like to have to put towards stuff for the baby. Needless to say, it was from Rob and when I looked over at him, he had a big smile on his face. And when I took it outta the box and looked at the back, this is what it said......

So now everyday when I go to run, I look at the back of this and get so excited about that day when my dream will come true!

I have just started training for the annual mini-marathon here in Indy. That is in May. And then I signed up for my very first Marathon!! I am going to run the Chicago Marathon in October!!

Our first baby purchase!!!!

2010-01-31T20:52:00.003-05:00

The BOB Revolution stroller

I have always dreamed of having a jogging stroller when I had a baby....Now, I have been very weird about buying anything for baby before we actually are matched with a birthmother, but I have been sooo excited and can't wait until I can go to Babies R Us and actually pick out things for OUR baby!! So anyway, my sister texted me the other day and told me that her husband's cousin was selling their BOB stroller because they are having another baby and they want to get a double. It is very gently used and they were selling it for almost half the price of a new one! I was so excited but still kinda hesistant to make a baby purchase, but Rob said, "yeah, lets just got ahead and get it." So we did!! Yeah!!! I can't wait to put a baby in there!!

We were supposed to have our home visit yesterday but, our SW got sick, so we are going to try again next Saturday. We are still working on our "Birthparent letter". We just sent in our 3rd draft to see what they say. It is kinda like a huge college project, where 90% of your grade depends on that one thing. That's how it feels. It is kinda stressful. I will glad when all of this is done and we are just waiting to be matched.

Well we don't really have much else going on. We are getting ready to go see both of our parents who are in Florida for the winter, here in a couple weeks, so that is exciting! Hope everyone is doing well!

Thankful Thursday

2010-01-21T23:41:00.002-05:00

This picture was taken almost exactly 5 years ago since that little baby in the pink just turned 5 on December 28th! I couldn't be more thankful for these kids! I just found this pic when I was looking for pics for our adoption profile and it just made me smile. They were 6, 4, 2, and a tiny baby and now look at them......

11, 9, 7, 5.....

I just thank God for the wonderful gift that he gave me when he created my nieces and nephews!

A Renewed Hope

2009-12-09T20:58:00.003-05:00

Sorry that I am just now posting about this....

We went to our adoption information meeting on Saturday and we loved everything about this agency! It just so happens that they have a training program coming up this weekend(Friday and Saturday). So, we signed up and are getting everything started! They gave us all of the paperwork last Saturday and we have been working on it all week. We have to each answer some questions, do an autobiography, fill out some more paperwork, get fingerprinted, get BMV reports, background checks, get physicals, get proof of employment, have 3 letters of recommendation, and much more. But the great thing is we have all most all of this done except the physicals and we are getting those next week. Once all of this stuff is turned in, we can schedule our home visit. And after we get our Dear Birthmother letter done and the homestudy is done, we will be "in the books"...just waiting on a mom to pick us! We are sooooo excited!!! I can't wait to get all of this stuff done and just be waiting for our Match! God has just given us so much Hope and we are so excited that He is taking us on this journey to become a family!

Adoption Meetings

2009-12-02T20:00:00.002-05:00

I am so excited!! We were on a waiting list for an informational meeting at IAC(adoption agency) on December 5th(this saturday) and got a call today that they have a spot for us!! We weren't supposed to be able to go until the January 9th meeting. I was getting a little down because I just really wanted to get started, so I am excited to see if this is who we want to go with. We are also going to a meeting tomorrow night with a different agency to check out their program. I also faxed an intake form to another agency and haven't heard anything from them(maybe that's our sign that they aren't the ones for us.) It is so hard to know who to go with. I still feel the most pull towards the one that we get to meet with on Saturday, though. Just thought I would post a little update. There hasn't really been anything to update lately. We are just "patiently" waiting to get the ball rolling.

Black Friday

2009-11-26T22:16:00.002-05:00

Last year, US shoppers spent $10.6 billion on Black Friday. That same amount of money could wipe out world hunger for 10 months.

www.thereisenough.org

Check it out!!

God has changed our hearts....

2009-11-11T17:25:00.002-05:00

And we couldn't be more excited!!!

We have been preparing for our IVF for January for the last few months and it was starting to get closer and closer. People were asking me about it and I was noticing that I was feeling sort of indifferent about it. I was like, "God why do I feel this way? I feel like I should be getting excited." But I just kept having this feeling of nothing really. Not excitement. Not anything. I kept thinking well maybe I am just scared....scared of more disappointment. So I just went on and thought I will get more excited as it gets a little closer.

Then all of this stuff started happening. I didn't realize this "stuff" was happening until I look back now. One day I came across this blog, My Heart's Cry. I started reading it and it was an amazing couples journey through infertility and their eventual road to adoption(I read the whole thing...3.5 hours worth;)). I didn't know it then but that is one of the first things God used to show me where He was going to be taking us soon.

Our good friends just adopted a little girl and they were over a couple weeks ago. My friend, Betsy, said to me, "if you guys ever decide you want to adopt, you should use the agency we used to do our homestudy. We really liked them and they are one of the most affordable in Indy." That night when they left I got on the website and I was thinking, "why am I on here? We are getting ready to do IVF. Oh well I think I'll just order an info packet, just for fun." That was on a Saturday night. On Tuesday I found myself excitedly anticipating that packet. I was so confused by my feelings. Little did I know that God was changing my heart at that very moment. On Tuesday the packet came and I read every last thing in that packet and when I was done, I knew God was revealing a new plan to us! We were supposed to pursue adoption instead of this upcoming IVF. I knew that Rob wasn't really on this same page yet, so I started praying that God would change Rob's heart if this was His plan for us. After lots of talking and praying, Rob told me last night that he was ready to pursue adoption! Wow things can change so much, so fast, but we are so excited!! We can't get into the first info meeting until January 9th, because the December one is full, so we still have some waiting to do before we can really start anything. But we will be moving forward with Domestic Adoption as soon as we can get started! We can't wait! We would love it if you would start praying with us for the Birthmom and our baby and God's plan for all of us!

Dear God, can we please have one of these?

2009-11-04T09:20:00.005-05:00

Is she not one of the most perfect little babies you have ever seen?

This is our good friends' newest baby girl! She is just so precious and beautiful!! Her name is Eliana, it is Hebrew for "God has answered". It is the perfect name for her!!

Me getting some cuddle time in...

Do we not look like naturals??? :)

"I love you uncle Rob!;)"

Eliana and her big sister Noura!

So adorable

A very good big sister! She is the sweetest little 2 1/2 year old! and she loves her aunt yindsey and unka wob! ;)

Well we are down to less than two months until our 2nd IVF. I have mixed emotions about it. I am so ready for it to get here but so scared of more disappointment. I have changed the way I pray about it. God knows my heart. He knows what I desire. He gave me this heart! So I like to talk to Him about how excited I get when I think about being a mom and just to share with Him like I would any of my close friends about my desires, dreams and fears. And I just pray for Him to prepare our hearts for His plans and to lead us in another direction if we are not on the path He has for us. I like to go in the room in our new house that we picked to be the nursery and just pray for our future child/children. It is so exciting to be in there and dream of it one day actually being an nursery and sitting in there rocking our little baby. Maybe one day very soon this dream will come true. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what God has in store for us! :)

Only 3 months!

2009-10-01T21:24:00.003-04:00

According to the ticker we only have 3 more months until we can do our 2nd IVF!!! I can't wait to be a mommy! I want this to work sooo bad!! I want to watch my belly grow and feel our baby move and see who our baby looks like and all of that great fun stuff!

And only 2 more weeks until we move into our new house!! We went to "visit" it tonight...here are a couple of pics!

We layed by the fireplace for awhile...this is the first time it has worked when we've been there!

Our new kitchen!

Our new house!

Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Allen!!!

2009-09-25T10:19:00.008-04:00

My little sister/BFF, Jenny, got married last weekend!! It was a perfect wedding! The weather was perfect and everything went great!! I am a little sad that it is over but so happy for the beautiful couple! I love you Jenny(and Kevin)!:)

The awesome cake!

Me and my mar mar!

The groom...ready to go!

Beautiful Bride

Rob and I with our good friends!

My brother, Zach, with his daughter Maura

Dad, Gma Helen and Maura

Sistas! Audrey and Maura

My cute parents dancin' it up!

Game time chest bump;)

Me and My BFF

Jenny and Audrey

Love this pic of Maura and Audrey

Ma and Pa with the bride

Mother/daughter

some of my fav kiddos(nieces and nephews)!! Maura, Will, Noah and Audrey

To my husband...

2009-08-26T09:54:00.006-04:00

Today Rob and I have been married for 3 years! Wow I can't believe it has been that long! Rob, you are the best husband any girl could hope for! You are so caring and loving and always picking me up when I'm down. You are so encouraging and such a man of God. Infertility SUCKS;), but it has brought us even closer together and you have proved to me that you are the awesome husband I thought you were! I love you more everyday! And I can't wait to see you in the "daddy" role! I know you will be just as awesome at that!!! I love you, baby!

August 26, 2006

My Favorite Scripture right now....

2009-08-17T22:31:00.004-04:00

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Today

2009-08-13T22:16:00.006-04:00

Well today was a good day overall. I got to see "my Mary"! She's one of my fav's! And I got to see my favorite Dr. in the whole wide world! We had our post IVF consult today. Dr J. was frustrated because he said my cycle was perfect. He said my chart was in the "pregnant" pile. I was one that he KNEW would be pregnant. He said as far as the embryos go, mine were great. He said it's hard to tell about the 4 cell....it could've went either way but the 7 and 8 cell were really good embryos. He said the most important thing in the IVF process is embryo quality and I had that. I love how caring he is. He is just amazing!! He just said so many things that made us know that he cares about us and our dreams of having a family. Basically the conclusion we came to is that we just need to try again. He said the reason he only got 5 good eggs was because he knew he only needed 3 so when they told him they had 5 good ones he stopped "retrieving". He said there was no reason to keep sticking me. So basically our plan is to go for IVF#2 in January. And we told him after this cycle we had a different outlook on freezing and that we would probably freeze with our next cycle. He was like a kid at Christmas when we said that. He said he would have no trouble getting 10-12 good eggs next time and that he would culture them out to the blast stage and transfer the two best ones and we would freeze the rest. He said we would probably have 4-6 to freeze at the most and he transfers 3 with a frozen transfer usually because the success rates are a lot lower than with a fresh cycle. So we felt really positive about all of that. We also brought up my endometriosis because by January it will have been a year since my surgery. He wanted to be safe and keep it from coming back before our next IVF so he put me on birth control for the next 5 months. We felt good about that too. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We are doing really good most days but some days are really hard. And just pray that God continues to show us His will for us! Thanks!

Please Pray for my Friend!

2009-08-04T16:49:00.003-04:00

I know I have so many prayer warriors out there, so I was hoping that I could recruit you guys. Her name is Pam. She just beat breast cancer a couple months ago. Now she found out today after having back pain and getting a CT scan done that the cancer seems to have metastasized. She has a caringbridge site if you would like to read her story. She is a person with such a strong faith and has been such an inspiration to me over the past 8 years that I've known her. Her site is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/pamschoonveld. Thanks!

The Best Dr.

2009-08-04T11:23:00.003-04:00

I have one of the best Dr.'s ever! I am so thankful for him. He is not only a very intelligent man, he is so genuine and sweet! He seems to know his patients and what they need. He knows that I always have lots of questions and can be very emotional(I am sure that I'm not the only patient like this:)). The first time after he mentioned IVF to us I just had so many questions. We had met with him on a Saturday and by Monday I had lots of questions and called to make an appt. I got extra blessed because they had a cancellation that day and we got in to see him that Monday. I told him that I had read through his big IVF manual twice over the weekend and had some questions. He just gave me his little smile that he does and said "that doesn't surprise me that you read through that twice already(this manual is big!)." But anyway we got to talk more about IVF, get lots of questions answered and when we went to pay, the receptionist said, "oh he isn't charging you for today. Go out and have dinner with that money." That is just the kind of guy he is!! But anyway he called me today and left me a message and it just made me want to cry. He said, "Lindsey this is Dr. J. I just wanted to tell you I am so sorry that this didn't work. I hope you are doing ok. Now don't get too down. We're down but not out! We've got things we can do. Hang in there and I'll see you next week." Isn't he awesome! We have our post IVF consult next Thursday so I am excited to see what he has to say. As of now, our plans(we know that these are ours and may not be Gods, so I use that word kind of cautiously) are to use our flex spending account for next year and take out enough for an IVF cycle. At least that way it is taken out of our pay checks over the whole year and it is before taxes so that saves a little bit of money. So if we do that, we can do our second cycle in January. It kinda stinks that we have to wait, because we are ready to go again ASAP;). But that's just life and we'll try to just enjoy the break I guess. And we also haven't heard Dr. J's opinion on our first cycle but i have a feeling he is going to say, we just need to try again!

I just want to thank everyone again for all of the messages and prayers throughout this journey. I am getting messages from friends of friends and people I didn't even know read my blog! It just means so much to me. I love to be vulnerable and open and I don't care who reads this, but I just didn't realize that so many people were. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Your words and prayers mean so much to us!

Thankful Thursday

2009-07-30T22:31:00.001-04:00

I'm thankful that I can still believe in His faithfulness

A Hard Day

2009-07-29T11:26:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

Life's Not Fair, but God is Good

2009-07-28T15:40:00.003-04:00

I won't get the official news until tomorrow, but we aren't pregnant. I took my first test 9dp3dt(I also took one 10dp3dt and 11dp3dt). I took the most sensitive test(first response...the one that gave me a false positive back in December the morning my beta was 12). I knew then that it was over. It was pretty sad. I laid in bed and held the picture of our babies and cried and Rob came into the room and crawled in bed with me and said, "you took a test?". I said yes. We just laid there for a long time. At that moment, as sad as I was, I trusted God's plans more than I ever have. I can't explain that except that God is working in our lives through all of this pain. It doesn't take away the sadness, but it makes the hope stronger.

I thought the title of this post was fitting since this was Norm's quote(our great family friend, who passed away April 1st of this year) and tomorrow would have been her birthday(the day we get the official news). This news doesn't change who God is. Believe me I could go on and on about people that keep having babies and don't have custody of any of them or people who beat their kids to death and I DO ask God about that...why do you keep giving them babies? That's not fair! But God reminds me that He is Good and has great plans for our lives and just to trust him. So I think I'll focus on that instead. God knew the outcome of this IVF cycle long ago and no matter how shaken I am by this, He's not shaken!(one of my favorite songs right now by Phil Stacy-You're not shaken)

my fav part of that song....

"I am trembling in the darkness of my own fear
All the questions with no answers
So grip me while I’m here
And I may never know why
Oh I may not understand
But I will lift up my eyes,
and trust this is Your plan"

/Chorus/
When every little thing that I dream of being just slips away like water through my hands
And when it seems the walls from my beliefs come crashing down like they’re all made of sand
I won’t, let go of You now
because I know, oh, You’re not shaken

Thanks for all of your prayers throughout the process of IVF cycle#1. Yes I said #1...we might actually try this again, although right now I think we will just take a break. We have to for financial reasons anyway. Please continue to pray for God to show us His plans. He might have plans for us to adopt or try this again or even something else to bring us our baby.

What is happening for the next few days...hopefully

2009-07-22T09:30:00.002-04:00

5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining

6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining

7dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells &
fetal cells

Well I am a little bummed today. I am just not feeling it. I know I'll be ok if it doesn't work but it will suck too. Please keep praying that our little ones will make their homes in there for the next 9 months. I probably won't update the blog anymore for a couple of weeks. I think I am just going to take a break. The encouragement from everyone is so appreciated and it helps so much but I think I would be better off staying away from some of the other blogs I find and the Internet too. Your encouragement and prayers mean so much to me. Thank you so so so much! We don't want to share our testing date because if it would be positive we want to share that with our families first and if it is negative we just want some time to deal with that alone I think. Love you all!

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

4dp3dt-Calling all you prayer warriors!

2009-07-21T09:35:00.002-04:00

So what should be going on in there today???.......

4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining

ATTACH MY LIL LUVBUGS!!!!!

Hatch little chickies Hatch!

2009-07-20T11:02:00.003-04:00

On day 3 after a 3 day transfer(3dp3dt-3days past 3day transfer) the blastocysts should be hatching out of the outer shell. My shell was thick according to the embryologist so they did what is called assisted hatching where they make a small hole in the outer layer to help with the hatching process. Please pray for our little ones to be able to hatch out of their shells today!!! Go little chickies Go! You can do it!!

Here's a pic of the assisted hatching procedure. The tool on the left is just to hold the embryo. The needle on the right is making a small hole in the outer shell.

Survival

2009-07-19T22:01:00.002-04:00

Ok, I need some tips on how to survive the wait to find out if this IVF cycle worked. I have been doing pretty well, but I am starting to feel a little crazy already!! Anyone have any advice??

Transfer Complete

2009-07-17T08:11:00.002-04:00

We transferred a...

4 cell(it's a little behind)

7 cell (grade 2+)

8 cell (grade 4)

They are graded on a scale of 0-4 with 4 being the best.

Here are our sweet babies

The little white dot is them being put into my uterus(their home:))

Please pray that they latch on and make themselves at home!

Thanks for all of the prayers!

Update

2009-07-15T21:54:00.002-04:00

First of all thanks so much for the prayers and all of the comments on my last post! This is so exciting and feels so awesome to have so much support and encouragement! I just wanted to let everyone know our ET is Friday morning at 6:45!! Early but that's OK! I can't wait to see how my babies are doing!!

Petrie, Ducky and Spike

2009-07-15T11:31:00.002-04:00

Our friend, Andrew, told us the other day that if we get pregnant and have a boy, he thinks we should name him petri(like petri dish). So then I thought of Petrie from the land before time and I was like, we definitely need to name our embryos. So we officially have 3 embryos!! Our little babies! I am in love already!!! Petrie, Ducky and Spike(all land before time characters)! Thank you so much for your prayers!!! PTL!!! I was crying and jumping up and down!! My sister got to witness it all!!! She said she wishes she would've videoed it for Rob!..LOL! Dr. S, the embryologist said that the nurses will call me this afternoon to set up my transfer for friday! We are doing a 3 day transfer! They won't look at the little ones tomorrow but will look at them before the transfer on Friday and let us know how they look!! Oh I am flying high right now!! Now we'll just wait and see if they divide and grow like they should and of course PRAY! Thank you God! I am so excited!!!

Egg Retrieval

2009-07-14T10:44:00.002-04:00

The ER went well today. I was so nervous while we were waiting. They were so busy it was like an assembly line for ER today. At about 8:30, Dr. J(best Dr. in the world) came and got me and wheeled me back to the OR. When we got there, he was like, "ok let's get this done right this time." I just love him! I also had a nurse that I used to work with at Riley as one of my nurses. She was really sweet and as her and Dr. J where putting my legs up into the stirrups, I was luckily drifting off to sleep. So I didn't have too much time to think about the fact that someone from work was all down in my business;). For all of you Riley girls reading this, it was Stacey M. from Mod 6. Thank you everyone for your encouraging words over the last few days and all of the prayers that were being said for us this morning. We appreciate it so much...and now we just wait for the fertilization report in the AM. I am pretty sleepy so hopefully I'll sleep the day away so it will go by fast!!. Oh yeah...Dr. J gave Rob a thumbs up, when he brought me back to my recovery room(i was still out of it) and said that he got 5 good eggs and seemed to be happy with that. We are too! Keep praying that our little eggs and spermies turn into embies...healthy embies! :) Thanks!

Us "patiently" waiting for our turn:)

Me a little out of it(or a lot.lol.wow!)...saying we got 5!!

Retrieval Eve

2009-07-13T22:58:00.002-04:00

So I should be in bed right now since I need to get up at about 5:00am, but I am just so anxious/excited. I have been reading this book the last couple days that my SIL just sent me in the mail. The name of it is "The Red Sea Rules"-10 God given strategies for difficult times. I haven't gotten very far into it yet but I am loving it and it is just what I need. Especially during these next couple of weeks. The two things that have really helped me so far are, "The same God who led you in will lead you out"....and Red Sea Rule #1, "Realize that God means for you to be where you are." I guess these things have given me so much comfort over the last couple of days because I know that God has my best interests in mind and that He has a perfect plan for our lives. So the fact that He has brought us here means that there is a reason for it(He means for us to be here), and He will eventually lead us out. I don't know if this will be it, but it could be it and I still don't know what His perfect plans are but I am choosing to trust in His plans for our lives. I hope beyond all hope that this is it, but if it's not, I will be OK.

God, I am so excited about tomorrow. I want to believe that this will be it, but I also know that i don't want something that isn't in your timing. I am going to continue to hope that we will be blessed with a baby from this IVF cycle. But if we aren't, I know that we will be ok because of who you are and your perfect plans for our lives. I just pray that our little eggs will be mature and that fertilization will occur. Please give us peace and help us find our strength in you throughout this process. In Jesus name, Amen

Trigger Time

2009-07-12T21:28:00.005-04:00

Today we had a day of celebrating toddler birthdays! It was lots of fun! Katie is turning 3 and had a Little Mermaid party! And Noura turned 2 on Saturday and celebrated with a Mickey Mouse theme!!

Katie pausing to pose for a pic

Noura checking out the water before the party began

Noura thoroughly enjoying her bday party!

Well Rob just gave me my last injections of the cycle. It is so exciting and stressful all at the same time! I am just ready for Tuesday to be here...actually I am ready for Wednesday so we can find out the fertilization report!

Another Follicle Update

2009-07-11T22:02:00.003-04:00

So I went in for another US this morning. Everything looked good. I think I had 9 or 10 follicles with only a few not quite big enough. The nurse called me this afternoon and said that Dr. J wants me to take my Bravelle and Menopur one more time in the morning and then tomorrow night at 8pm I will trigger. Monday I have pre-op labs and an appt. and then Tuesday morning at 8am will be our retrieval!! This is so exciting! Rob gave me my last dose of Lupron tonight. He likes to be involved in this process as much as he can so he gives me my lupron at night and then he usually is still in bed when I do the shots in the mornings, so I do those. I'll leave you with a pic of me getting my last lupron shot!!! This is so exciting!!

Follicles

2009-07-10T18:17:00.002-04:00

Well I went in for my second ultrasound today and I have 7 follicles that are either ready or close to ready to be "retrieved"! Dr. J wants me to take one more day of meds, come in for another ultrasound in the morning and then I will probably trigger tomorrow night and go in for ER on Monday! Wow this is going so fast! I am mostly staying positive and am excited to see what next week brings. I have a specific prayer request that might sound silly but it is really important to me. There is a "disclaimer" on our paperwork that says it could be either Dr. J or his partner Dr. M who does the ER and ET, so please pray that Dr. J will do ours. I know there are a lot of IVF cycles going on right now in his office and I so want him to be the one to do it. I just know him and really like him and he has been the one that has been through all of this with us. So please pray for that and that my follicles would continue to do what they need to do and that Dr. J will get the 3 mature eggs that we need!

Thankfulness

2009-07-06T11:32:00.002-04:00

I just want to thank everyone that sent me words of encouragement yesterday! It means so much to me and helps me a lot! I had someone at work pretty much making fun of me yesterday. She was saying, "you don't even know those people on those blogs, but you act like they're your friends." I was so hurt by that! You are all friends to me! It is so awesome to have people going through the same things! We are able to encourage each other and it means so much to me. Even though we haven't ever met in person, I feel like we have such a special bond because of the infertility journey we share! Thanks so much to all my blogger friends!!!...and of course to all of my friends(that i have met in person;)) that read my blog! You are all so special to me!

I am scared

2009-07-05T09:50:00.004-04:00

I am having a rough time today. I was doing so well and feeling so positive and then last night I was jumping from blog to blog reading about different IVF stories and I just got so scared about this not working. I started reading about 3day transfers vs 5day transfers and wondering what ours will be and if our embryos will thrive for those 3-5 days or will they not make it?!? Will this work and I will get to be a mommy or will it not and we will have to wait another year to try again??...I am so scared and I know fear is not from God, so I just keep praying for peace but i just can't shake it. I want to relax and stay positive. Anyone have any advice or special verses that helped you get through this time or if you haven't gone through this just any special verses that you think might help. I need something that I can cling to, because I can tell this is going to be a long month...I just want to stay positive and trust God for His plans. Please pray for this for me! Thanks!

Let's get this thing started!!

2009-07-02T10:25:00.002-04:00

My meds for the next 6 days!!!

Since it's Thursday I thought I would do a little "Thankful Thursday" post...

I am thankful for...

Jesus

My Husband

My Family

Infertility(don't get me wrong...I am ready for it to be over, but it has refined me so much in the last two years and as painful as that can be, it is a great thing!)

True Friends

My meds arriving today:)

My wonderful Dr., Dr. J

Mary

My Job

Mug Root Beer and....

Sushi

These are just a few of the wonderful blessings in my life!

Moving on down...to the south side

2009-06-17T20:55:00.003-04:00

Rob working on packing up the kitchen

Just a few of our things boxed up and ready to be moved

Wow! This month has been flying by! I can't believe that we are almost into July! We are closing on our house on June 29th, so we are moving into an apt this weekend. We have been so busy packing up and finalizing plans on our house that we are building. It seems like everything always happens at once!! So anyway we weren't really planning on any of this just two months ago, but decided to put our house up for sale and just see what happened. It sold in one day and then we decided to build a house since the interest rates are at a record low! This will be our house we will live in for a really long time. It is really exciting! We should be moving in by mid October. Until then it is apt living for us! I am kinda excited about just having a few months with less cleaning and no yardwork. I will enjoy just taking it easy the rest of the summer!...and hoping for some little embies to latch on and hold on for the long haul;)!!

Speaking of little embies....I had my first appt yesterday at Dr. J's office. I mainly just got some labs drawn and got some injection instructions. I am almost finished up with 3 weeks of birth control. I am going to be taking my last BCP on June 23rd and starting Lupron this Friday(June 19th). Then I have my "start cycle" appt on June 30th and will know more then. I most likely will start stimming on July 3rd and we are still looking at a mid July ER/ET. I haven't had lots of time to sit around and think about this because of all of the house stuff, which has been good for me. I am trying to just stay positive and take it one day at a time. :)

2009-06-05T08:33:00.003-04:00

I love music!! I feel like God speaks to me a lot through music. The other day I was driving down the road singing along to a song that I know every word to. I've heard this song lots of times. It isn't a new song. But sometimes I think once I learn the words to a song, I can sing the whole song and never think about what the words are saying. But I really payed attention to the words the other day and it just really hit me. It says, "I love you more than the sun and the stars that I taught how to shine, you are mine and you shine for me to. I love you yesterday and today and tomorrow. I'll say it again and again. I love you more!" So then I think about my parents and how much they love me and it's a lot. Their actions over the years have shown that. But God loves me more that I can imagine...more than I can fathom. So God's plans for me have to be pretty cool if He loves me that much. It is just hard to see sometimes because God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not are thoughts. But we just have to trust that because God loves us this much, His plans have to be better than we can imagine! I'll leave you with the lyrics to the song "More".

Matthew West - More

From the album Happy

Take a look at the mountain

Stretching a mile high

Take a look at the ocean

Far as your eye can see

And think of me

Take a look at the desert

Do you feel like a grain of sand?

I am with you wherever

Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you

Take a look round you

I'm spelling it out one by one

CHORUS:

I love you more than the sun

And the stars that I taught how to shine

You are mine, and you shine for me too

I love you yesterday and today and tomorrow

I'll say it again and again

I love your more

Just a face in the city

Just a tear on a crowded street

But you are one in a million

And you belong to me

And I want you to know

That I'm not letting go

Even when you come undone

Repeat Chorus

I love you more, yeah

Shine for me

Shine, you shine, you shine for me

Repeat Chorus

I love you more than the sun

And the stars that I taught how to shine

You are mine, and you shine for me too

I love you yesterday and today through the joy and the pain,

I'll say it again and again

I love you more

I see you, and I made you

And I love you more than you can imagine

More than you can fathom

I love you more than the sun And you shine for me

Aunt Flow and Birth Control!! Woo Hoo!!!

2009-05-28T20:34:00.002-04:00

I have never been happier to see this monthly visitor!!! This is the start of IVF for us!! Yeah! I get to start my birth control tomorrow! I talked to the nurse today and made an appt in mid-June for labs and injection instructions! Then I will know more from there. We are probably looking at a mid July ER and ET! I can't wait for it to get here! But I have plenty to do between now and then. We just put our house on the market on Tuesday, had 3 showings on Wednesday and 2 offers that night and our house is sold!! So we will be moving towards the end of June into an apartment while our house is being built!! It is all so exciting! I am hoping all of this stuff going on will help me not to sit around and worry about IVF for the next two months. It is so scary to think that it might not work, but I just have to stay positive and believe that it will!!

Coordinated??...I think not...

2009-05-16T13:39:00.005-04:00

Lindsey's normal ankle

Lindsey's ankle after a run in with a pine cone..LOL

So I was all pumped up to go for a long run this morning. I had some new music on my ipod. It was a nice overcast day....a little warm, but not too bad. I ran the half mile over to the park where I like to run and a PINE CONE jumped out in front of me and I tripped over it(actually I stepped on it as I was looking at my watch). So needless to say my long run turned into a 0.5 mile run and I probably won't be running for a few days. I am so clumsy;)! After I yelled a profanity(it just popped out..oops), and walked it off a little. I had a good laugh about hurting my ankle by stepping on a pine cone. Oh well. Now I have a reason to just relax a little today!